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The Most Epic Story. Ever. Part 2.

Hey gang. Yeah, I wrote this forever ago, not long after I wrote part one and for some reason never posted it so here ya go!

Welcome back! I suppose we might as well just jump right back into the story at hand donít ya think? I mean, thereís no sense in delaying, right? Youíre clearly here for story not for Patrick ramble time which is what most everything almost always turns into so before a tangent over takes my mind letís get down to business.

When we last left me, we had just reattached my ankle to my leg and splinted the hell out of it. As I gradually came to with my silly songs and odd little math attack I noticed the pain had changed. It had turned into that odd kind of pain that hurts more but for some reason actually feels better. If that somehow someway makes a tiny bit of sense? People began to stream in and out of my magically little room 13 and I got to speak with me mum and girlfriend for a bit and that was nice and we arranged a wee little plane ride for each of them cause word came down from the powers that be that I was going to be going into surgery the following day and I had put into action a plan earlier in the evening that stipulated that if it was decided that I was going to have to have surgery that I wanted me mum and girlfriend to fly out to be with me. For, at one point, it was rather uncertain what was going to happen to me. This would have been right around the fun little skit we played out where theyíd ask if Iíd gotten x-rayed and all that fun stuff. Soooo anyway, word came down and plans were made.

I think its fair to point at that at this point when they informed me of the pending surgery that I hadnít the slightest idea what surgery they could possibly be planning to do that could fix a broken ankle. Needless to say I found out eventually. Are you ready to find out? I donít think you are. Weíre gonna save that for a tiny bit later. Getting back to the story telling action, my time in room 13 was drawing to a close and my time in room 4117 (4+1+1+7=13) was just about to begin. You see, 4117 was an actual hospital room not an emergency room and it would be where I would be spending quite a bit of time. Early Friday morning I finally got to ride in one of those big elevators they have for stretchers like they rock on ER (ya know, the show? R.I.P. Michael) and we made our way up to floor 4 where I was proclaimed the happiest patient theyíd seen all night! Despite the dire situation I really was in I was actually in rather high spirits. I just tried to treat it as a grand adventure or some other such none sense.

Once I was safely transferred over to my new hospital bed, which was an actual bed now, the whole gang departed for a bit to get themselves situated back at the venue for the night cause obviously they couldnít all sleep in my little hospital room. So they all left and I was there alone. By myself. Except not really alone for on the other side of the curtain was my new best buddy Jerry! Naturally, with the curtain drawn between us Jerry was just a voice but we chatted for a bit since my rowdy little gang woke him up and I learned all sorts of fun little facts about him like how he used to be in a band and how he broke his ankle once in San Diego and that he has 10 children scattered across the country. Jerry was a fun guy. Anyway, I was all set up in my new little bed with my morphine and IV liquids and my little bottle to pee in (that was a fun little game!). This was the beginning of the other fun little game that Iím still playing known as sleeping with my right leg up on a bunch of pillows. Its not a fun game and its damn uncomfortable to sleep that way. But whatevs, its cool, Iím surviviní ; ) Eventually, I did doze off a bit and eventually Julio returned and slept in a chair and I had nurse changes but my sleep was very intermittent and by about 8 in the morning I gave up.

Since I was scheduled for surgery later that day I wasnít allowed to have any food or even water and that was really rather unfortunate cause I must admit I was a bit thirsty. However, being the charming young man that I am, I talked someone into sneaking my a little cup of ice chips which quite easily saved me from dying of dehydration. Unfortunately for me, having no food or drink in my system wasnít the only prerequisite for surgery for me that day. The other precondition was that my lovely lip ring had to be removed for safety reasons. Safety reasons I can hear you asking yourself. Yes, yes indeed. Word Ďround the campfire is that apparently with a breathing tube down your throat, if there is metal in your mouth, it presents the abstract possibility that there could the risk of electric shock. Or something. If I recall correctly, I wasnít exactly the most aware at this point in time so maybe I misheard. Or something. I do recall that it was tons of trouble trying to get that silly little ring out of my lip. Oh, and funny P.S. to this section of the story: It was 2 years ago, in the very same city, that I got my lip pierced and then it all came full circle and now its gone. Thats right, the hole closed up by the time I was motivated enough to try to put it back in. So instead, I just grew a beard. I had shaved 2 nights prior to the show when we were staying at Drewís house and havenít shaved since. Its pretty beastly.

Speaking of beastly, the scars from my surgery are pretty freakiní awesome. Iím thinking Iím gonna wrap this story up for now. Sorry that I have taken so dang long getting this truncated second portion of the story to yall but I have been lame as of late and rather unmotivated. However, before I call it quits for the day and go buy The Dark Knight on Blu Ray, I just want to say a few not ankle injury related things. As some people may know, each year I do a year-end Top 15 Albums of the Year list. I hate to admit though that I donít even think Iíve bought 15 albums this year. For the first time in my music loving life. Its tragic. Is it just that I am detached from the current music scene? I dunno. How about you lovely folks throw me a few of your favorite albums from Ď08 at me to give me some inspiration. While music has taken a downturn, there have been some great movies and video games this year so maybe I shall supplement my list a bit this year. Oh, and is anyone in Australia reading this? If so, let me know, cause thereís some books that are only available down under that I really want by an author named Ian Irvine. Heís a fantasy writer and the last book in his latest series just came out. You see, his first fantasy series was indeed published in the States and from there, the addiction started. Anyway, time to hit up Best Buy.

Oh, and finally, when I get around to it soon, Iíll post some pictures of the ankle when it was still messed up and of the scars and of the x-rays. Those are beastly as well.


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Welcome to the New Year!


Its been a while since I last put finger tips to keyboard and typed up some 1s and 0s for you all and I figure what better time than now. I mean, its a new year afterall. 2009 if my sources are to be believed. I hate to sound so hackneyed right off the bat but last year literal slipped out from underneath me. You'd be surprised how quickly you lose track of time when you've been sentenced to bedrest by the powers in the world. It feels as if November and December existed as a tangent to reality. Obviously happening but somehow out of the normal stream of time. As if perhaps once I got my ankle back in working order I would just slip right back into Chicago circa late October 2008. Well my friends, 2008 is gone so obviously that ain't gonna be happening!

For those of you following along at home, you may be wondering where to hell my "Top 15 Albums of 2008" list is. Well, I hate to break it to ya, but that list shan't be made. Ever. Why? Cause I was sorely disappointed with the musical releases of the past year. Though, from what was released, there are naturally a few stand outs I feel deserve a little time in the spot light: First and foremost, you should all know my undying love from all things Thrice so the fact that the rest of The Alchemy Index came out is noteworthy enough but to end the year with a live cd and dvd?! What more could anyone ask for?!? To be honestly, I prefered last year's Fire and Water E.P.s to this year's Wind and Earth overall but some of my favorite songs from the collection can be found on the Wind disc. Broken Lungs and Daedalus show just how majestic Thrice can be at their best. Throw those in with Burn the Fleet and The Whaler form Fire and Water (respectively) and you've got some of their greatest and most uniquely Thrice songs ever!

Let's not forget though about another long awaited release to finally see the light of day this year!! After I called for it early last year, Opeth heard my cries and delivered a new cd into our collective hearts! It was epic. It was beautiful. It was crushingly heavy. It was everything I could have asked for from them.

And last up, with an extra special throw back to my punk rock days, who could forget the feel good smash album of the year from the magnificent Internation Superheroes of Hardcore!?!? The alter-ego of Easycore heroes New Found Glory, the ISHC will make you wanna windmill and ground punch in your car as you drive down the highway. Just don't forget your seatbelt!

Now, I'm sure more music came out last year, like Underoath or Russian Circles, but really, nothing quite struck me like things used to. Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe I'm losing touch with the trends of the day. Or maybe I'm a bit ahead of the curve ; ) I do know that Seven Souls at Sunset released their epic and emotional Snow and Ice EP last year and that is well worth looking into. And I can't say that you have a new Pensive release to look forward to yet but if you come to a show or two this year I can pretty much promise that you'll hear something new! And your mind will melt!!

So, in conclusion, last might have been a slight musical drought but the rest of the entertainment world picked up the slack. There were many monumental releases but really, I only have 3 words for you: THE DARK KNIGHT. If nothing else happened last year, who cares?! The Dark Knight came out and it was everything we could wish for and more! Let's not bicker and argue and whether Heath was a better Joker than Jack (he was, but Jack was hampered by Tim Burton's dreadful directing so its not exactly an even playing field), let's just sit back in amazment at the heights movies can attain.

Also, if you like video games and like horror, do yourself a favor and buy Dead Space. You can thank me later.

Let's go kill some birds, I'm psyched.

Oh, and yeah, I hope yall had a lovely holiday season and that this year is full of all sorts of goodness for all of us! I know some huge things are in the works behind the curtain in the Pensive world so hold tight for some announcements that will rock your world . . . Coming Soon . . .

< /ramble >


P.S. Oh dear god, what is wrong with me?! How could I have spent all that time writing this blog and post it in 2 different places and yet still fail to realize to glaring omissions on my part?!? You see, as I said, last year wasn't my favorite music year but I forgot two very important releases: Senses Fail's "Life is Not a Waiting Room" and Metallica's "Death Magnetic." Senses Fail truly are one of the most consistantly amazing bands out there today. Every song on every album they release is amazing. Picking up where "Still Searching" left off, " . . . Waiting Room" doesn't waste any time getting down to business. Anyone with ears should be a Senses Fail fan.

And any fan of metal simply must own Metallica's best album since "Master of Puppets!" It doesn't have any songs that quite live up to classics like "One" or "Wherever I May Roam" but it is their only release other than Master and "Ride The Lightning" that I can listen to all the way through. Lars still sucks at drums but its hidden much better this time around. The move to Rick Rubbin as producer produced a world of difference. Metallica is back! I wanna say bad words now but I shall censor myself ; )

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The Most Epic Story. Ever. Part 1.

Hello world. Some of you may have heard, and some of you may have not, and well, if you are part of the latter category, you're about to find out, and yes, this is a really long run on sentence but lets get to the point: I broke my ankle. Now, in and of itself, I suppose thats a pretty common story. I would wager that I ain't the first person ever in the world to break their ankle. Wanna know how I did it? Cause, well, thats a funny little story. Ready? Here it comes.

Let's set the stage. We had just rocked the stage at the Nite Light Cafe in Berwyn Illinois, a lovely little awesome venue just outside Chicago. We were standing outside, getting ready to hit the road. By we I mean Pensive as in Julio, Jeremy, fill in bassist Cody, merch girl Amanda, and your's truly. Also outside with us were Kayla (you all know Kayla I'm sure) and her father along with 2 other super cool Chicago fans who's names sadly espace me : ( It had been slightly drizzling throughout the night and of course the rain had peaked while we were in the process of loading the trailer. Of course. At the time of the accident, it was barely drizzling but the pavement was still plenty slick. So there, the stage is set. Let's see how this all plays out now, shall we? ; )

I was hungry. I was ready to go. I wanted Waffle House though I still don't know if there was one in the area. So once it was announced that we were just about to leave I did a little woo hoo I'm happy kick just kinda straight out. Somehow this got Amanda and I on the topic of kicking and whenever said topic comes up I always like to brag that I can kick over most people's heads. (as a sidenote, picturing this all again is kinda making me sick to my stomach) Anyway, I went on to prove to Amanda that I could in fact kick over her head in an arc and I did it. With my right foot. And while that foot was in the air, my left foot slipped. It must have been near the end of the kick cause the kick finished but all my weight ended up on my right ankle and I felt a weird little twist and a snap, crackle, pop and heard it and next thing I knew I was on the ground moaning and my foot was essentially no longer attached to my leg on the inside. (on another sidenote, I did karate for about 10 years starting from when I was about 5 so I've done tons and tons and tons of kicks in my life and never once before have I fallen)

So, Iím on the ground crushing Amandaís hand with my own while Julio holdís my destroyed ankle off the ground. I asked Amanda to call my girlfriend and Jeremy to call my mom and the venue owner to call an ambulance. Naturally, both of the women I spoke to on the phone were more than a little concerned about my situation but hey, I was a little worried too. The ambulance showed up rather quickly cause in one of the many very fortunate circumstances, the hospital was little just a couple blocks away. So I had my first ride in an ambulance and it was quite an experience to be laying there on a stretcher with my ankle clearly messed up and feeling each and every little bump in the road as if someone were taking a hammer to my ankle. Ok, ok, thats an exaggeration but not by much.

After a short ride I was wheeled into the hospital and got my own little room and a someone came in to look at my ankle. She took my shoe and sock off very carefully (still hurt a wee bit though I must admit) and once she got a good look at, she said the same thing just about everyone, doctors included, said when they saw my ankle for the first time: ďHoly Shit.Ē Yeah. Thats always great to hear doctors and nurses say when looking at you. Up to this point, I hadnít really had the courage to look at my ankle yet. I knew well enough from what I felt when I fell and the strange disconnected scrunches I felt I tried to move my ankle while on the ground that it was way broken.

Anyway, sorry, I get sidetracked on the little details very very easily. So, I got my own little triage room and the whole gang came to keep me company and sane while I dealt with the insanity of the medical system. Essentially, I laid on that stretcher for a good hour or so with plenty of people coming in and out and each one played out a little something like this. Ready? Nurse: Have you gotten x-rayed yet? Me: No. Can I have some pain medicine please? Nurse: Not yet. Iíll go get someone. New person comes in and we repeated our little play. Good times, good times. Throughout this whole time from the time of the actual event to when I finally got medicine, I was in pain yes, but I had so much adrenaline flowing through my body that it still hadnít really hit me. So yes, eventually I got myself a nice little IV and they popped in a little morphine drip and I was good to go. By the time they got me to x-rays (freakiní finally!!!) I was high enough to actually finally looking at my ankle. And yeah, it was pretty hold shit if I do say so myself. Hereís how I like to describe it: My ankle looked like a softball and my foot was not where it was supposed to be (this part is better told with visual aids Iím sorry to say).

So, some more morphine later I was moved into room 13 (my x-rays were taken in room 7 and I was happy about that, not so happy about 13) and this is the sight of the relocation of my ankle. I forgot to mention that not only had I broken my ankle but I had dislocated it as well. Essentially, when it comes down to it, I did just about everything to my ankle that I possibly could. Despite what you may think from the movies, relocating an ankle or whatever is a hell of a lot more painful than they make it out. They put me under and then had to put me further under according to Julio cause I still felt it too much. I moaned pretty much the entire time that they were working on my ankle. As I started to come to from the anesthesia, I found myself inexplicably singing Pressure by Paramore. As in ďI can feel the pressure,Ē etc. etc. Then I ran out of words I knew in that song so I switched to Misery Business (this is my first memory, Julio told me about the earlier parts). Then, I thought we hadnít had enough Paramore yet so I busted out the chorus of ďThats What You Get.Ē 3 Paramore songs though proved to be enough for me cause I moved onto some Pensive songs and then answered a few questions for Julio cause the doctor said its normal for me to be slightly conscious and that Iíd be able to answer questions. I did some math. I had a laughing fit and a crying fit. And then I was fully awake with a nice little (and by little I mean huge) bandage on my right leg. [and as a final little footnote to this section I think it should be noted that Julio has some cell phone video of me signing along with pictures of my ankle before the doctors did anything to it]

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Summer Is Gone Tour #1

Hello all!

Iím currently writing this as we drive down I-44 toward Springfield MO. No, no, I donít have the internet at the moment, Iím typing this up in WordPerfect (f*** MS Word, yo!) And will post it online when we arrive somewhere that has internet access. So, how has the tour been so far? Letís see, we are now five days in? I think thats about right yeah. So far all the shows have been super lovely and its always great to see friends and fans that we so rarely get to see. We missed all of you Safford, Las Cruces, Roswell, Amarillo, and Tulsa folks!!! Not to play favorites or nothing cause obviously we love you all but Safford and Roswell were especially fantastic to us this time, even more so than usual so thank yaíll for that. For whatever reason, I personally did not have the best show in Safford but maybe no one noticed? Ya know, it was just one of those weird days I guess. We all have our off days from time to time. Even R2D2 makes mistakes. Donít believe me? Go watch The Empire Strikes Back. C-3PO admits it! Sure, *he* might not be reliable but in this instance, Iím inclined to believe him . . .

Speaking of movies, we watched Pulp Fiction today in the van on the way to the coffee shop we acoustically rocked tonight and I do so love that movie. Like you wouldnít believe! The coffee shop owner was a lovely women that let us have all sorts of free food and drinks and as you could guess, I most certainly took advantage of that! Got myself some chai tea (mmmm!!!! I actually used to hate tea and Iím still not a fan of straight up Earl Grey or green tea but any variety of chai is just delicious and I love stuff like ginger peach tea and such which is weird cause I donít like peaches but whatevs! It used to be when I didnít like something but wanted to be nice about it I would say: ďWell, its not really my cup of tea. Not that I like tea or anything but you get the point.Ē Sadly, I canít say that anymore without being a liar . . . ) and a surprisingly good hot dog in a crescent roll. I doubt you care about my little tea rant and such but you can always choose to not read my blogs!

Speaking of food, all the new food is one of the best parts of tour! Cause lets face it, even though San Diegoís got In N Out (which I love), its missing tons of stuff that is equally as good. Like Waffle House and Sonic and Whataburger. Why canít we just get at least one of those?! I mean, sure, I could drive up to Anaheim or out to El Centro for Sonic but thats far too long to drive even for the loveliness of a Sonic burger and cherry limeade! Weíve yet to hit a Waffle House but I promise you it wonít be much longer.

Oh snap! How could I have forgotten to mention this!! Our first three shows of the tour were with our new super awesome buddies in A Thorn For Every Heart! It sucks it only ended up being 3 shows cause those guys not only rock as a band but are some of the nicest and silliest and down to earth guys weíve had to pleasure of rocking with. Hopefully our paths will cross again in the future! As a parting gift, they decorated the back of our trailer with all sorts of dirty like things like the dirty little boys they are : ) Hahaha! The moral of the story: the road is always more fun when youíve got some company!

Iím sad to say that in my opinion, this has been a rather slow year for new music with a few notable exceptions. However, lets just go ahead and say that the new Senses Fail is out and Buddy and Heath and the gang have hit themselves another homerun! Damn do I loves me some Senses Fail!! Out of the 2 post-Midtown bands out there, Heath is certainly doing a much better job than Gabe, but shhh, I didnít say that!!! Its odd though, most years when I go to do my end of the year, top 15 albums of the year list, I have to leave off a ton of cds that I really wanted to include but this year (not that Iíve actually started the list yet), I wouldnít be surprised if I could make it to 15 . . . Maybe Iím just out of touch with the music scene? And, well, those of you that know me know that I love my lists like nobodyís business. The end of the year lists are the just the beginning. Just wait till the end of next year cause guess what thats gonna be! The end of the decade!! And you know Iím gonna have to do a list for that! Thereís no chance in hell I could limit it to15. Its gonna be a list of 100. Thats right. My top 100 cds of the decade from the year 2000-2009. Yes, that is ten years. Its gonna be way tough to get the order right but damn am I up for the challenge! As of this moment I know what my #1 is gonna be but who knows if someone will come along and usurp the spot in the next year or so ; )

Well folks, I think its about time to wrap this up. I hope you enjoyed my little update. Probably didnít tell you anything that wanted to know but maybe youíre not too upset with me? Well take care kids and hopefully weíll run into you on road soon!!


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The Collected Late Night Ramblings: Week 5

Saturday, May 10th
Retroposts Episode 1

Good morning world!

Well it looks like the time has finally arrived when I fail at life. If you consider myspace bulletins life at least. Cause time, she is not on my side, but I mean come on, we got four straight weeks in.

And I mean, this is gonna be a short, short bulletin but its something at least, right?

Let's get the important stuff out of the way, the Lost spoilers. I know I'm a day late but you should already know why! I guess the biggest and oddest thing to happen was Christian and Claire's appearence in Jacob's cabin. What exactly is that supposed to mean!? Sure, Christian (Jack and Claire's father) is dead but he showed up on the island in the first episode. I've never really figured out what it means when dead people show up on the island but he certainly seems to show up on a regular basis. I'm also pretty sure that people other than Jack and Claire and now Locke have seen him. And speaking of Locke, the creepy guy that doesn't age has had his eye on Locke for a loooooong time!! I'm curious as to what "test" he failed when he picked the knife. Has he done that with other people that have shown up on the island or The Others or is John the only one? Who knows. Lost is crazy. I know that and you know that.

There ya go, a short bulletin to bring you back to the old school days back in week 1 when they were all about this long. Think of it that way, this is a retro post and who doesn't like retro? Oh, and yes, as always on Saturday's, last week's bulletins are now on the Pensive Blog so go read up if you missed any of them. Time to rock n roll kids.



Sunday, May 11th
If Only There Were More Zombie Bands

Good morning!

Wow, after yesterday's post, I'm surprised I didn't get a whole bunch of messages that said "rabble" and nothing else. But aside from a few "I hate you Patrick" messages, you all seemed to be understanding of my time constraints. Fear not though for today, I have all the time in the world. Just like in that Starting Line song "Stay Where I Can See You." Its a lovely song. And its odd that my random way with words would bring up a Starting Line reference for in case you haven't heard, they are essentially no more. They have broken up. It was a sad, sad day when Web Boy Sean called me up and told me about it. I first heard of the Starting Line from a 2001 Drive Thru comp I got in the mail actually (still don't know how or why) called Hello Wisconsin. I totally love that cd to death and it became the soundtrack to my late game leveling up and sidequesting in Final Fantasy X (I often throw on a cd or something when playing the same thing over and over again cause there's only so many hours I can stand hearing the battle theme played constantly . . . Naturally once I decide to rejoin the story I cease listening to an outside music source though! Back in the FFVII days, specifically during the long journey to aquire a Gold Chocobo, I would rock the Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. *End Tangent*)

Anyway! They had 2 songs on that sampler and I just fell in love. We had ourselves a bit of a love/hate relationship over the years as the evolved. At first I found "Say It Like You Mean It" to be too polished and perfect. Back in the day I liked to pretend I was punk so anything that sounded polished bothered me, case in point: I used to think that "Nothing Gold Can Stay" was a much better cd than "New Found Glory." Oh silly me!! However, no matter how my opinion of Say It Like You Mean It went, the very second that I heard "Based On A True Story," I loved it to death. In a year and a half when I do my top 50 (or maybe 100, well see!) albums of the decade, don't be surprised to find that cd sitting comforatbly in the top ten. For me, that is how I will always remember them. Last year's Direction didn't move me as much but it has grown on me to say the least.

Its always sad to see such a good band go. And lately, it seems that the biggest reason to break up is that the band isn't making enough money, just like The Movielife and Matchbook Romance (kind of). Goodbye my beloved Starting Line. Say hello to the rest of the bands that we've lost recently. Rest In Peace. Or not! I wouldn't mind a zombie Starting Line, would you? I mean, The Smashing Pumpkins returned! Lucky me. I was so devestated back in 2000 when they announced that they were calling it quits. It was just a few days after I had seen them for the first time (which was probably one of the most amazing shows I have ever seen. The girl in front of me had a sign that said "Marry me Billy!!!" Before a song, Billy noticed it and told her that she didn't want to marry him. After the last song, he invited her onstage and gave her a hug. I was jealous. I want a hug from Billy Corgan!! Though randomly, I met Hunter at a Saves The Day show and got a hug from him : ) What? You don't enjoy getting hugs from awesome people? =P)

Anyway, as for Pensive, we're not breaking up anytime soon so don't worry. In fact, its just about time to head to practice. Gotta make sure we're ready to melt faces in a mere week and a half. After much deliberation and fighting and experimenting and more fighting we finally have ourselves a set list! Wanna know what songs are on it? You do?! Aww, well, I don't know if I can reveal it all to you right now. I'll let you know this though, there's a pretty good chance that Live Fast made the cut. And naturally, so did Yesterday Fades Away. Behond that, I think I'll make you wait it out a bit. But I will tell you that chances are high that your favorite song did not make the cut, whatever it is. Why? Cause I'm mean. Not really. I lied. It might be there, it might not be. Depends on which song it is ; ) Lets see, there's 8 songs on the set list and you know two of them . . . I'll start revealing the rest on Thursday. A song a day. Cause I love countdowns of any sort and that will be a perfect lead up to tour.

Don't forget!!! We're gonna be on the radio tonight! Click here! We'll be on at 8pm Pacific Time (GMT -8:00) You can do the math yourself to find out when that is where you are =P Listen in and have fun. Cause it will be fun. Lots of fun. Now I'm gonna go practice. Cause that's how I roll.


P.S. Don't be surprised if you randomly hear us soundchecking with Break Stuff . . .

Monday, May 12th
Danny's Not Here Mrs. Torrence

Hello world!

You've noticed, I am quite sure, that my sleep schedule is returning back to the way it used to be. Perhaps its almost time to swtich this back to the night time so it'll show up around 3:30am instead of sometime after noon. Any opinions? I do take requests ya know considering I rock this for you! Untill there is an overwhelming push to push this back to the night, you'll just have to deal with my inconsistencies.

So, how many of you happened to catch us on the radio last night? Naturally, if you don't live in the San Diego area, you probably didn't hear us on the actual radio of course, but it was broadcasted over the internet so you could listen to it from anywhere. Even the penguins in Antartica could've listened in if they had Wi-Fi down there : ) I don't really think that they do but I think you get the point, yes? Well anyway, we had a lovely time there. Its always fun to get played on the radio no matter how. I always get so stressed out when we do that kind of stuff though. I always want to say so much stuff cause we generally have such little time. Hopefully that doesn't come across? I'm always tempted to just answer every question with a joke of some sorts, to just be completely sarcastic but I always restrain myself cause I don't think it would come off very well all the time. But here!! Here I can be as sarcastic as I want! I don't currently want to be sarcastic but maybe later. We'll see.

I think I have become a bit desensitized to horror movies. I love horror movies but they just don't scare me anymore. Case in point: The Orphanage. I knew what I was getting myself into, or more exactly, what I wasn't getting myself into. I knew it would a bit more restrained, more classical in its execution. However, I thought that it would be a bit darker than it was. I quite loved the twist ending and the movie as a whole was very, very good, but I just don't think anything can scare me like movies used to scare me. At least not when I'm in the comfort of home. The last time I was scared by a movie didn't have much to do with the movie but more the situation in which I watched it. After a show in Virginia last year, we got a place to stay with one of the guys from the band we played with. He lived in the middle of nowhere. In the woods. 2 hours away. So, I brought out the ol' laptop and popped in The Blair Witch Project cause I had just picked it up for $4.99 at a gas station (and I don't care what any of you say, I think that movie is beyond brilliant!). Now naturally, I can't say that watching it put me in a state of distresss or anything like that. However, having that fresh in my mind and driving through the woods was a little creepy. As was the tiny little bridge we had to drive over that was almost to narrow for the trailer to make it. Worst of all, the front yard of the house we were staying at. It was huge and completely unlit. No moon out that night and the weak light from the porch could only illuminate so far. My mind likes to play tricks on me from time to time so I saw all sorts of things out there. Glowing eyes (turned out to be a bunny rabbit). A strange hunched figure (turned out to be an axe stuck in a tree stump). Oh, and then there was the gigantic deserted barn off to the side a little bit. Does this sound creepy to you? It better not! But, 3am makes everything a little different . . .

Speaking of driving through the woods, another tour, also in Virginia (I guess Virginia is just kind of creepy) we made up a little game for ourselves. The point of the game was to figure out what would be the creepiest thing to see while driving through the woods. First we came up with the obvious "crazy guy with a chainsaw." Next was the slightly more creative "dead bodies hung from the trees." My contribution, and personal favorite naturally was the "little girl in a white dress standing next to a red bike on its side in the middle of the road." Why is that creepy? I dunno but children are scary. Case in point: The Orphanage. The Sixth Sense. The Ring. The Grudge. The Shining! Come play with us Danny. Forever. And ever. And ever.

Back in the day, The Ring terrified me for days. Whether its multiple viewings or just growing up, who knows, but it doesn't have the same effect now of course. The last movie that truly scared me was "High Tension." Now that is an intense movie!

After reading all of this, you should come away knowing 2 things. Do you know what they are? #1: Patrick loves horror movies, with a heavy inclination towards the supernatural end of things. #2: Patrick is a wimp. Don't forget to come back tomorrow when you can hear other things about how lame Patrick is!! (but at least he's sexier than Bob Dole)


Tuesday, May 13th
Yes Lars, I Know, But How Does That Make You FEEL?!

Good morning!

So far, the vote for returning to night time vs. the morning/afternoon stands at 1 vote for the night vs 0 votes for the morning. Just though I would give you an update. Not that I'll necessarily change my sleeping habits based purely on your whims but I might, ya never know. Etiher way though, its the same result, one bulletin, from me, everyday. And yes, I will even try to keep this up while we're on tour so keep your fingers crossed for me! Its gonna be hard to get it done every day but you know I'll try!!

Speaking of tour, yesterday the band ended up watching Metallica's Some Kind of Monster. First off, I love Metallica. Oh so very much. They're one of those bands I've been dying to see for, oh, I dunno, something like 10 years, but never have. Second off, Some Kind of Monster is quite an entertaining piece of cinema. The first time the band saw it was when we were on our summer of 04 "tour." It was barely a tour but we saw it then and it was tons of fun. All bands fight. I think thats just the nature of the beast. We always thought we had the worst fights you could have. And then we saw that movie and realized we have a long way to go till we can claim the title of worst fights!!

There were some very funny moments in that movie though I must admit. I would love to be in their shoes sometimes. For example, on the prospect of touring after James got back from rehab, their manager had this to say: "you could just do a weekend stadium tour, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and come home for the rest of the week." Yeah. Seriously. Ya know, I've gotta say, a weekend stadium tour sounds kind of nice, don't ya think? And I'm sure they probably at least have an incredibly nice bus to tour in, if not one for each of them . . . Mmm, hey guys, what do you say we trade that van in for a couple of buses? I say we do it! Oh, and they also dropped $40,000 a month on their therapist (thats $480,000 a year which, if you don't know, is kind of a lot) and threw a million dollars in the face of their new bassist to show that they were "serious." Oh to be Metallica . . .

Hahaha, ok, ok, I'm sure its not all roses in Metallica land but its much more fun to point out the silly parts. They have a new album coming out sometime and I would really appreciate it if everyone were to just keep their fingers crossed till it comes out in hopes that it'll be good . . . Oh, and if you would like to contribute to the future Pensive Weekends Only Stadium and Buses Tour, we'll be taking donations on our upcoming Pensive Every Day of the Week Regular Venue and Van Tour : )

Speaking of tour, don't forget to check the dates on our page cause it would oh so awesome if some of you were to maybe show up at a show or three!!


Wednesday, May 14th
Let's Rock Out At Red Lights

Hello world!

Let's see, whats going on in the wide world of Pensive today? Well, I'm sure you'd all be happy to know that the slow and steady process of me losing my mind is still going on. I get crazier and crazier every day : ) And I woke up sick this morning. Keep your fingers crossed things improve. I'm sure you don't really read these little posts for updates on my personal well being so how about we just jump straight into something interesting!

Even though its a day earlier than I promised, I think the time has come to start reveailng the songs that will be gracing the upcoming tour's set list. You already know the obvious ones of Live Fast and Yesterday Fades Away so I think I'll go ahead and throw out another one that should be pretty obvious. Well, I mean, almost all the songs should be pretty obvious if you've seen us before but thats neither here nor there! The next song to be revealed is . . . (drum roll please . . . thank you mickey on the drums!) RED LETTER DAY!! See, no big surprise there. People like that song, right? I mean, some of you have to at least . . .

We're coming up on this tour very quickly. The first show is next Thursday and we'll be leaving in exactly a week. Heck, by this time next week, I could very well be sitting in the back seat of the van. Its such a weird transition from being home to being on tour. Its nearly instantanious. Before we're even on the highway I feel like I've never been anywhere else in my life than the back seat of the van. Which is both comforting and a little distressing really. Tour life is so different than anything, its not like what you think about when you think about bands on tour. Don't get me wrong, I love it to death and there's pretty much nothing else I would rather be doing but it gets hard sometimes. I have already covered this subject extensively in various places so I don't suppose there's any real need to repeat myself. Anyway, you should all make sure to make to at least one show and come say hi and hang out and make us feel at home in your hometown : ) Oh trust me, this tour is going to rock like no tour we or any other band has ever done before and you so don't want to miss it. I mean come on, even I'm excited and thats gotta mean something!! Hahaha

Till then, there's plenty to keep me busy. Getting ready for tour. Practice. Reading books I don't want to take on tour (books tend to get roughed up on tour a little and I'm way obsessive about keeping my books in perfect condition!). So anyway, I shall cut things off here for now before I start ranting and raving like a lunatic ; )


Thursday, May 15th
Okay I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't

Good morning.

Day two of me feeling under the weather has arrived. After careful consideration I have decided that I do feel slightly better but still not that fantastic. Oh well! Being sickly and all gave me some pretty odd dreams I must admit. Only one I can really remember though involved Thom Yorke quitting Radiohead to play baseball. And he was apparently really good too! Though, its very rare for my dreams to come true so all you Radiohead fans out there, don't worry yet for I'm quite sure Thom won't leave them to play baseball. If he does though, remember you heard it here first!!!

We are officially one week away from the first show of our Under The Surface tour which naturally means its time to reveal another song that will be gracing the set list. As I mentioned yesterday, I really don't think any of this is going to come as a surprise to anyone really but its fun to pretend like there's a whole bunch of suspense and mystery surrounding it. Yo Mickey, can I get a drum roll please! And the next song to be revealed is! . . . . . . Come With Me! A lovely little song about the majesty of love. Actually it really isn't but thats ok, right? You see, Julio wanted to have a faster, more agressive song on the album so I told him he should go write it. So, he sat around with his acoustic and before long came up with the pre-chorus and chorus of what would become Come With Me. He showed it to Will later that night and for once, Mr. Salazar actually approved of something! All we needed was a verse and such. After much trial and error Will and I kind of assembled the crhomatic descending chords that you now know.

So we all sat around with these chords and a melody and no lyrics at all. It was a group collaboration on the pre-chorus and chorus (and by group, I mostly mean Julio and Will with me maybe throwing in a word or tweaking a phrase so it fit my aesthetic standards [aesthetic standards!? ha! what a joke =P]) Wait, maybe that was the next day? Eh, I can't remember exactly but either way, the writing of the verses fell to me. Yes, yes, I think the verses came first actually. Sorry!! Anyway, we had a little discussion about song topics and after shooting down abuse and divorce we settled upon "dirty/sexy." After adding in the verse, that just seemed to change to whole tone of the song and that's the topic that seemed to fit. And plus, we've never had a song like that before so I figured new is always fun.

It certainly wasn't easy to write for me though. It was a very foreign topic for me. Yes yes, I am sexier than Bob Dole but he and I are just about at the bottom of the list! I wrote a bit and it just wasn't working. So I did what any self respecting musician does when they're stuck. I stole from another musician! But fear not my dears, for I did not plagiarize anyone! I simply borrowed a few words and only just words from one of my lyrical idols and good buddy (ha! I wish!) Jesse Lacey. Lips. Shake. Silence. Dark. Cold. Alone. Etc. I wrote down a whole list of words that liked (not phrases, just words!) and over the course of an two hours or so (the first hour taken up by listening to Deja Entendu) I pieced together the verses as you now know them. I'm sure I still have that long list somewhere. There were tons of words I liked that I didn't use in the song though. I'm weird when it comes to lyrics. Sometimes all I need is a single word and it just opens up everything for me. And once I establish a pattern and structure, it gets easier for me (which I always found kind of backwards honestly but oh well!)

Well, I must depart for I slept too late and practice is in a matter of minutes. Hope you enjoyed the story for the day. I'll be back tomorrow and maybe I'll reveal some more hidden secrets about the next song on the set list? Nope! Ya know why? Cause freakin' LOST is on tonight!!!

Patrick Smith <3's Jesse Lacey

Friday, May 16th
Random Reference To Something Unrelated


Well I'm sure you can go ahead and guess that the first thing I'm gonna talk about is how I missed LOST last night and you would be quite right in that guess. So good job you. You deserve a high five for that I think! So, what caused me to miss this week? Well, I decided to save LOST for today because I spent my evening last night at my "good buddy/former Pensive bassist/current Pensive Web Boy" Sean's band's show. Its not so often that I get to be on the viewing side of a show so it was fun. The crazy band before had themselves a painter on stage. At first I thought that was really dumb till it actually turned out to be completely awesome! He painted a wolf. Like seriously. A wolf. And poor ol' Sean broke a string in the middle of the set. Thats never fun. As much as I hate to promote a competing band I'll go ahead and do it just cause its Web Boy Sean . . . Check 'em out, they're called Stereo Summer. It was also Mickey's first real night out since arriving to rock out with us so he got to meet the whole gang of misfits that I call my friends.

However, that doesn't explain why I didn't watch LOST when I got home cause we all know if there's staying up that needs to be done, I'm the one to do it. Well, you see, lots of people enjoy watching LOST and I know that at some point everyone is gonna sit down and watch together so why should spoil that fun by already knowing whats gonna happen? That would be very rude of me and as we all know, I am so super polite (not really but we can pretend, can't we?). Don't worry, I'll make sure we all watch it today so that I can talk all about it tomorrow even though I don't think a lot of you actually care too much for my LOST rants . . .

It just hit me last night how dangerously close to tour we are. Its going to be so epic. I just gotta make sure I get everything packed in time. Last time I forgot nail clippers. That was unfortunate. Another time I forgot my phone charger. Way more unforunate. Its funny, the van is completely clean and empty right now and as soon as I get in there next Wednesday, it'll be like move in day. I'll take out all the stuff that usually sits in the pockets and in the cabinets and it'll be like I never left. My home away from home. Its funny, I actually enjoy sleeping in the van, though not during the summer of course cause I'd wake up with a tan, but in the fall its not bad. People are always weirded out by that. Oh well.

The time has come to reveal another set list song I believe. Now adding to the list of Live Fast, Yesterday Fades Away, Red Letter Day, and Come With me . . . [drum roll Mickey!] . . . Without You Here!!! Isn't that exciting? We've got the whole band involved in this one though so be on the look out for it. Its quite lovely if I do say so myself. And oh the way we transition from it into [song title deleted] which is next on the set list sounds so great! When it works at least. When it doesn't, it just sounds really good ; ) You should all already know the story behind Without You Here seeing as it was pretty much the first installment of these daily bulletins. If not, well, you better go find that post and read up on it!!!

So, its officially getting hot in San Diego again. Even though its still technically Spring and all, I really can't wait till Summer is Gone . . . I'm not built for the heat. Give me an overcast sky with a chance of rain in the late afternoon and I'm set. Well, I must depart for practice calls. And ironically, the phone started to ring as I was typing that. Except that it was Dave calling about my car, not practice calling about itself. See ya tomorrow!


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The Collected Late Night Ramblings: Week 4

Saturday, May 3rd
Reader Questions Answered By Patrick

Hello all.

Welcome to week 4 of what has now become my early morning blog. A history lesson of sorts: This started out as the las thing I would do before going to sleep back when I would be falling asleep at 6 in the morning. Then, one eventful day, that all changed. I stayed up a good 36 hours or so and have no found myself settling into a frighteningly regular human schedule. Waking up at 9!? Thats when I'm supposed to be falling asleep!! I'm not much one for the sun. The night time is the right time. We only come out at night. Etc. Etc Anyway, for the sake of consistancy, I still labeled it as "late night" when I collected last week's tales for the Pensive blog.


[I have tried twice now to post this bulletin and for some reason, this paragraph won't show. I'll try to recreate it one more time. I'm sorry Hannah if your question is answered to hastily but I am running dreadfully late!!!]

Question: "Why do you lie to us Pensive!? You said that Yesterday Fades Away would be on Artifacts but its not! Why!? WHY!?!?!" (enhanced for dramatic effect, yada yada yada) Well, going into the studio we all thought it was gonna be recorded again but in the end, time constraints sort of prevented it. However, it was a blessing in disguise for me at least for I had been compaining to keep it off the album. Why? Cause to me it represents the old Pensive and I was trying very hard to push us forward on this past album. To do something new for us. I don't know how successful I was but it was my attempt anyway. YFA was originally written in the summer of 2003, a month after we finished recording Something About The Stars. Yes, its a good song, but in my eyes its still a little weak and it reminds me of our past and not our future. Sorry for being so harsh YFA but you should know my opinion doesn't matter much since I have terrible taste in Pensive songs it seems usually ; )

Our next and final question has to do with the actual song writing process: "How do you write songs? How do they develope? Do the lyrics come first or the music. Either way, they suck. You should learn to write better songs." Alright, so I made that last part up, I'm sorry. But, that is a very valid questions! I would imagine that every song writer goes about things in a different way. Back in the old, old school days, I used to write music and lyrics at the same time and then make Julio figure out a way to make the lyrics work over the music. I have no ear at all for vocal melody. None at all. So I would just give Julio lyrics and say figure something out. It didn't generally generate many hooks. During the making of Something About The Stars, Will showed us a different way to look at songs. This is debateable of course but when it comes down to it, in our style of music, the vocals are the most important part. They are the core of the song. So why not work on getting them to work first and then working things around them? We'd never really thought of it that way. Of course, we still lay down a basis first with chords and such and build a melody over that but often times the melody will want to go somewhere else and the chords will change. The early stages of a song are very elastic. The song bends and stretches till it fits right and then we lock it in place and start to add the extras on top of it. Here's a flow chart: Basic chords -----> Vocal Melody -----> Lyrics -----> Drums/Bass -----> Leads.

Now of course there are always exceptions to that. For example, The Words You Say all sprung for the into guitar part that I play. From there we made chords. And then Julio and Will started experimenting with vocals. Julio would sing something, Will would hit him and say "do it better damnit!" (thats a lie) till eventually Julio would sing something and Will would say "that was brilliant!" and Will would then look at me and say "now go write some lyrics to that!!" Hahaha, ok, ok, ok, so I have greatly exagerated the whole process for comedic and dramatic effect but the essence is the same. We work on a part till we think it can stand on its own and then move on. Eventually, everything ends up getting re-examined in the recording studio and changes are made then too. Until the song is sent to be mixed, every last part of it could still change . . .

So there ya go. The first ever "reader questions answered by Patrick" day. I hope you enjoyed it. We shall return tomorrow with more Artifacts stories and how Lost Inside Your Heart and Red Letter Day came into this world.


Sunday, May 4th
Day Two of Patrick Hates Myspace


I am just having by far the worst luck with computers as of late. As you may recall, myspace at a paragraph of my bulletin yesterday and today my pure stupidity caused me to lose the entire thing. How you may ask? Well not knowing that I had somehow clicked outside the text box, I clicked the ďbackspaceĒ button which as you may know, when youíre not in a text field has the same function as clicking ďbackĒ on your web browser. Yep, I am that dumb/unlucky. I seriously didnít know that it wasnít in the text box!! So yeah, clicking forward does nothing cause everything I had written was gone. So now Iím learning my lesson and writing everything in WordPerfect (I despise MS Word with a passion and will never use it voluntarily). Though of course, Iíve been burned by WP in the past too. Not too long ago in fact.

So when I opened it up it gave me this little message that said ďI need updates please update me . . . Ē I usually ignore those cause I hate sitting while something downloads and then makes me restart my computer. I mean, I donít need most of these programs to do anything more than they already do. Why must I get a new version of iTunes every day when I donít even use a quarter of its features already!? So anyway, I ignored it and began writing. A very very lame story. Essentially a lame rip off of H.P. Lovecraft mixed with a lame rip off of Silent Hill. But, on the other hand, its so rare that write anymore that it was a pretty big deal for me to sit down with an idea I had and spend a good three-four hours getting it out of me. Naturally I only got a couple pages out of me and had barely advanced the storyline at all cause Iím endlessly descriptive and easily sidetracked but you probably already knew that. So anyway, I went to save it. The little save screen popped up but wouldnít actually let me save it. I tried every way I could possible think of to cheat the system and it didnít work.

So I copied the whole thing and then reopened it and tried to save again. Still nothing. WP had saved a backup file which was a nice touch but stupid me I accidentally deleted it. And once I realized I needed to update the program to fix it, I had lost everything I had worked on somehow. Probably due to my stupidity. Updated the program. Save feature worked perfectly. The moral of the story: I dunno, just donít be stupid like me I think. Oh and that computers and all technology hates me.

I hope you can forgive me for not wanting to write a bulletin right now. I could very easily power through it just like Rachel and Joey tried to power through it but it would probably end up just like it ended up for them. Rachel going to bed early and Joey sitting there a bucket of ice between his legs. And since I clearly canít end up after writing this going to sleep since I only woke up about an hour ago that means Iíll be Joey sitting on the couch with a bucket of ice between my legs and I donít want that. Iíve always thought of myself as more of a Chandler anyway. Ya know, insecure, makes stupid jokes a lot, etc.

Does anyone else watch Jeopardy on a regular basis???? Cause I watch it everyday. And Thursday, the returning champion was defeated by a challenger yet, the next day, both of them were back! I missed the first couple of minutes when they maybe could have explained why so now Iím completely clueless! Did anyone happen to see that cause I would really like to know what happened.

Ok, now Iím in a slightly better mood but the hunger is creeping in. I think it would be best for all parties involved if we leave this bulletin as is and return tomorrow for the in depth look Red Letter Day and Lost Inside Your Heart. And besides, what I had written was probably too technical for non-guitarists to get much enjoyment out of. What do you think, should I explain it how I did or just leave it more accessible? Naturally you donít actually know how it was beforehand but just answer based on your best guess. Itíll be fun, donít ya think? Alright, Iím gonna go. Gotta get ready to post our little Cinco de Mayo thing everywhere. Oh yeah, tomorrow, Cinco de Mayo, head over to our page and download Soledad. All the cool kids are gonna do it so you should too. Seriously. Adios mis amigos.


Monday, May 5th
Don't Worry, I Didn't Forget!

Good morning all!

I know I promised not to bore you to death with long paragraphs about my sleeping habits but I think its necessary this time. You see, when I woke up this morning, I already had a full plate of things that needed my attention so I'm sorry to say that my morning bulletin had to be pushed back. But fear not my dears for its here now!!

I know I also promised a good many days ago now that I would tell you a story about Red Letter Day and Lost Inside Your Heart. I'm sure you've probably be wondering why its always though 2 songs, huh? Well you could be forgiven for that seeing as how they don't seem to have much in common but guess what, they both began life as the same song! I can see you now, sitting there by your computer, scratching the top of your head as if you were in a cartoon, going over the songs in your head and trying to figure it out. You look pretty silly honestly, let's hope you're not in public or anything cause you'd probably be getting some pretty odd looks right now. Put your hand down and let's just go over this logically, ok? : )

So how did this happen you may ask. Well I'll tell you. It all began with a little guitar part I had floating around in my head that I really wanted to build a song around. Of course, at the time I didn't know that it sounded almost exactly like the lead in Coldplay's "In My Place," but it got left off the song eventually anyway. In the key of E (technically D# since we tune down a half step but I still think of it as E . . . ) I built this progression for the verse: E ----> B ----> G#m ----> A. The chorus was based on a progression of E ----> A ----> B. But I embelished it a bit. On the E chord, I oscilated back and forth between Eadd9 and Emaj7 and made the A chord an Aadd9. I know this might not be much more than gibberish to you unless you're a musician but I feel it'll help you understand a tiny bit what happened next.

Well, the song as I had written it didn't really sit right with everyone so we started experimenting with different things for it. You should know that this all took place in the little practice studio in the garage and that we have a little mic set up in the corner recording everything that went on. So we were jamming on it, trying a bunch of different things. For a while the verses were in 6/8 and then we switched back to 4/4 for the chorus. Then we switched that around. Eventually we ended up turning the whole song into 6/8. This worked out just fine for me but Julio and I often have different visions for songs and such. So just for fun and to make Julio happy, Will told Chris to play what he called a "Cars beat" and we played along with the chords and such and messed around and had fun with it but forgot all about it.

A few days later, Julio was going over the recordings and heard that and fell in love with it. It had all the elements from my original song. Same verse progression. Instead of playing the chords in the chorus I played a little lead part that none the less ended up adding the same notes onto the chords. The bridge was identical and I threw a little lead from a song we had been working on years before that didn't go anywhere really. And pretty much there, in one take, just messing around, was Red Letter Day. Sure, the vocals took a while to impliment but as far as the structure and the chords and all that, it was all there in that one take.

So Julio adopted Red Letter Day as I fought for Lost Inside Your Heart. Ironically enough, the song closest to my original song is Red Letter Day. At this point though, both songs had too much in common and we spent extra time on LIYH changing it around so the songs were more different in ways other than just feel. The chords in chorus changed. The bridge changed. In the end though, both songs ended up getting all the love they needed to grow and even though they came from the same source, both ended up being different enough to we included them both on the album. It was a long road to get there though and plenty of bloody fights along the way . . .

There ya go. The story has at long last been told! And now you know. Questions? I think I lost track of my plot somewhere along the way but I'm sorry. Sometimes when I tell stories I leave out details without knowing it cause I know of course what I'm talking about and forget that other people aren't psychic like I am. So feel free to ask for clarification on anything. Time to get back to the real world sadly.

See ya tomorrow!

P.S. Happy May 5th everyone! Download Soledad or Mexican Julio will creep into your room at night and hang a pinata of death over your bed . . .

Tuesday, May 6th
And If There's Muffins Left To Bake

Good morning.

It appears that yersterday's overly technical rant on the creation of Red Letter Day and Lost Inside Your Heart did not please too many of you. That makes me sad. Perhaps I can redeem myself today with shorter histories to some of the other songs? Oh! Here we go actually. I was reminded of this story a couple days ago. If you've been reading my bulletins on a regular basis you should know exactly who Will Salazar is and the role he has played in band getting to where are.

Will got involved with us purely by chance. You see, our drummer had left us for another band (don't worry, he came back eventually, again, and again, and again) even though we had a couple shows booked. Lucky for us, the drummer for idols, San Diego legends Agent 51, Mikey Hell, agreed to play those shows with us. So, Mikey was best friends with a man named Chris Lewis. Lewis just so happened to be the guitarist in Fenix TX (he joined after Lechuza). And as we should all know, Will Salazar is the singer and mastermind behind Fenix TX.

Eventually, we begged and pleaded enough to get Mikey to agree to play drums on a couple recordings for us. We had the opprotunity to be on a Green Day tribute album and how could we turn that down? So Mikey played on the songs we submitted and since we had a little extra time in the studio we messed around and recorded When The Fire Burns Brightest. A couple months later, we convinvced Mikey to record a real cd with us and that turned into Something About The Stars. With Mikey being such good friends with Lewis, Lewis offered to produce the cd. And then so did Will.

On one of the first days of working on new songs and such, showing them what we had, Will kept picking on Julio for various reasons. Will is constantly mad at Julio because he thinks Julio doesn't try hard enough. They fight about that a lot. It amuses me. Because I'm evil. So lets just say that Will is a very unique person. He warned Julio that if he kept complaining, Will was going to draw little blue tear drops under Julio's eyes. I think Julio might have thought that Will was bluffing. He soon learned that Will doesn't bluff. Not too long after the threat had been placed on the table, a new little fight developed between the two and Will grabbed a blue sharpie and had Lewis hold Julio's head in place and bam! There they were, there little blue tears. So, Julio wore these tears around all day even when we went to Panda Express for lunch.

Julio and Will are quite the odd couple. They're both ver stubborn and always think they're right. I think its the Mexican in them that for some reasons makes them so antagonizing to each other maybe. Who knows. But at least Julio never almost burnt down the studio! Anyway, that first pre-production with Will was like song writing boot camp. We were clueless. He was our drill instructor. We learned a lot. We fought a lot. And in the end, it was all worth it. And it may sound like from all these stories that I tell that Will is an evil evil man. Well, he is. But only when it comes to work. Take us out of the studio and Will is quite the silly little man and he tells the best stories ever pretty much (not counting Kevin Smith that is . . . ) Good times.

Anyway, the new Russian Circles cd is coming out today. I'm excited, can't you tell? Seriously though, I am pretty excited seeing as this will only be the second new cd I will have gotten all year (the first of course being Thrice). Those of you that know me should know that I do my top 15 albums of the year every year and I must I really hope I'm missing tons of good cds or that more will come out the rest of the year cause we're more than 1/3 of the way through the year and I've got 2 cds on my list . . .

Anyway, I shall go now. Take care now. Bye bye then.


Wednesday, May 7th
The ISHC Says Buckle Your Seat Belt!

Good morning all!

Well, today is going to be a very odd bulletin. Mr. Bassist and Mr. Drummer shall be arriving at the San Diego International Airport very soon so I must make sure I don't spend too long here I'm sorry to say. I should've gotten up earlier, you're right, but I didn't so looks like you're just plain out of luck! So anyway, for those of you playing along at home, this means that soon, practice shall begin for the upcoming mega super awesome monster tour we've got coming up. We're gonna pwn you n00bs. Wait. No. We're gonna rock your socks off and melt your faces! Yeah, ok, thats the terminology I was looking for : )

Most importantly, I must give a shout out to my local Best Buy and Borders and Sam Goody and Hot Topic. Why? Cause not a single one of them had the new Russian Circles cd! No no, they weren't sold out, they just flat out didn't have it!! The guy at Sam Goody tried to tell me that there was no new Russian Circles cd according to their computer. I laughed at him and kicked him in the shin for working at a place that doesn't have the cd I want! However, all this hanging out at record stores had one benefit, I found another cd. NFG and ISHC yo! New Found Glory and their alter egos, the International Superheroes of Hardcore!! Its so badass, it really is. Look into it. Seriously. Just go do it now.

Alright, so I think I'm going to answer a quick reader question right now. The question was: "What is the worst show you've ever played? Cause the one I was at was pretty dang horrible . . . All the ones I've been at have been really. Why do I keep coming back to see you!?" So, since I have selective hearing/reading, I only see the first sentance there so thats all I'm gonna pay attention to (especially since the rest is all made up but you should all know by now the ways I embellish stories . . . ) Well, this story needs no embellishment at all! There's a story you should probably know before this but I'll skip it. Essentially, there we were, in the southern tip of Florida. We had no drummer. Well, we had future Pensive bassist Ian there but thats beside the point. So, Julio and I played an acoustic show. Which we did a lot on that summer of 2006 tour. Well, lets cut right to the chase: Julio and I did an acoustic show for Sean, Lauren, and Ian. Thats it. No audience at all. Even the guy that owned the venue and the girl at the door left while we played. That was a pretty lame night. But then we had Waffle House and that always fixes just about anything. Especially since that chef had mad skillz yo! And then Ian fell asleep in the van and Sean took a picture of him. I'll have to see if I can track that down . . . Found it! I'm sure Ian (who arrives in like ten minutes) is probably gonna hate me for posting this but oh well! Click click click! There ya go, thats the story for the day.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to try to run off to the comic book store so I can get my Dark Tower comic!! Oh, and p.s. Iron Man is freakin' awesome!!! Seriously go see it if you haven't. And go buy NFG / ISHC. See ya tomorrow!


P.S. And now apparently I dream that I'm Iron Man instead of Batman . . . I'm so fickle . . . Don't worry, I wasn't really Iron Man. It was actually an odd combination of the two. Cause Alfred was there. I also had a dream about Ross from friends and that my mom played Metal Gear. I have problems.

Thursday, May 8th
Patrick Has Lost His Mind

Good afternoon!

Things have made a mighty big shift. Ok not really. Let's just say I keep waking up later and later though my time of falling asleep seems to be staying about the same. Which means I think the opposite of what happened to Ralph in Stephen King's book Insomnia is happening to me which means I'm just gonna keep sleeping more and more and before ya know it, I'm gonna sleep through the tour that we have coming up. That would be tragic don't ya think? Cause I'm kind of excited about touring again, its been a long time. And besides, I'm totally running out of stories to tell and it would really be nice to have something new for all of you to hear about.

Well, there is still one last epic story that I have but I don't think you can quite handle it yet. Like Tom Cruise said, "you want the truth you can't handle the truth show me the money!" If anyone knows what I'm refering to there you deserve a total high five!! Sorry, I have very random thoughts sometimes. But no seriuosly this story is so epic that your collective heads would probably just explode from the action and suspense and violence involved in this story. Yes, I think its best to save it.

Have you ever noticed that lots of times, I don't actually really say anything at all? That I just kind of ramble on with sentences that don't connect. Random thoughts. And words. Too many words? Well I guess thats the price you have to pay since I suck at having something to say all the time. I think I should come up with something before this bulletin is wasted . . . Let me think . . .

Do you know who Uwe Boll is? He is a director of horrendous video game movies. His most recent feat of amazingness was Dungeon Seige: In The Name of the King. He's crazy. For example, he has stated in all seriousness that his movie Postal will slaughter Indiana Jones in the box office when they both open on the same day. Dellusional. Do you like gum? Would you like a free pack of gum? This is silly but you should still read it. And in all seriousnss, don't we all need a little silly in our lives sometimes?

Now if you'll excuse, after this horrendous bulletin worthy of slapping Uwe Boll's name on, I think I'm gonna go read my Dark Tower comic. Cause I'm a geek. And you love it. Oh, and don't forget that Lost is on tonight. And you know what that means, right?! Exactly, that if you're looking for some awesome band stories, you is gonna have to wait till Saturday!! And ya know, I think I want to make Saturday the official reader's question day so think up some spiffy questions over the next day and a half and send them on over. Doesn't matter what the question is at all. If I think it rocks, I'll answer it! : )

Uwe Boll

Friday, May 9th
Wait a Second, Isn't This Supposed To Say "OGMLOST!!!"?

Good morning!

Well, there shall be no Lost discussion today for tragedy struck last night. You see, we always record Lost and watch it at 11 so as to skip the commercials. There was a little hitch in that plan last night though.

Unknown to us as we were rocking out at practice, the hard drive on our cable box was full and therefore DID NOT record Lost! I was heartbroken to say the least. Which means that I'm going to have to watch it online as soon as I can. Can't do it now though, got practice in 30 minutes. It really is a sad little state of affairs, wouldn't you say?

I believe that I only recieved on reader question from yesterday so since I ain't got Lost to talk about, might as well answer it! The question was: "What was the best crowd you've ever had?" Well thats a very, very good question actually and a lot harder to answer than the "worst show" question. After much thought I think I shall have to award the title to Plainfield Indiana circa September of 2006. It wasn't the biggest crowd that we've ever played in front of but it was by far the most enthusiastic. They sang our songs back at us louder than we were singing them. And thats quite an accomplishment for anyone considering my opinion on amps (which if you've already read this story on the Pensive blog you'll know) which is that if you're ears ain't bleeding after we're done playing, my amp ain't loud enough! So, in light of that, if I could hear the crowd, they must've been pretty damn loud!! Bravo to you Plainfield of September of 2006, bravo. Sadly, that venue has been shut down. What can ya do? At least we won't have to carry our stuff up those stairs anymore!!!! (those stairs were brutal, especially trying to get our merch case up them . . . )

So practice for the upcoming tour has begun and we're so gonna melt faces. We are. There just ain't no two ways 'bout it. You better not bring any ice cream to show cause it'll just melt right along with your face. Though, you could bring ice cream for us and we'd just make sure it got safely stored away in our stomachs before the melting beams errupted from the stage . . . Though, first, I need to get back into shape. For my neck is sore from rockin' out. But fear not for this is only temporary and shall not impact any future rocking that shall take place in the future. Yes I said future twice in the same sentence.

Well I think that just about wraps this week of posts up. I've been intending to make Saturday's the reader questions days but can't this week due to the tragedy last night. So expect the Lost Bulletin tomorrow and if you'd like we can rock the questions on Sunday. Sound good to you? Perfect! Now I've gotta go remember how to play the guitar again . . .


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The Collected Late Night Ramblings: Week 3

Saturday, April 26th
More People Come If We Say There'll Be Punch And Pie


How are you? Good. Wonderful. Glad to hear it.

Let's get down to business shall we? Welcome to week 3. Thats right, I have officially made it 2 whole weeks of these bulletins. As I stated last week I believe, at the end of each week, the previous week's bulletins will be magically appearing on the Official Pensive Blog so feel free to check there to catch up on the insanity that is Patrick and his ramblings. And yes, Patrick does sometimes refer to himself in the 3rd person. Like Bob Dole. Except sexier.

I must warn that this may potentially be a short bulletin. I have had an extremely messed up schedule as of late and I am exhausted. I want to just collapse and call it a night right now but I have a duty to you my sweets so I shan't do that just yet. My sleep schedule barely needs mentions since you should all be well versed in it by now. However, you might know about my dreams. I dream. A lot. Like Bob Dole. Except sexier. For some reason, lately, I've had series of dreams in which I am Batman. I have been on a bit of Batman kick lately perhaps in antcipation of the upcoming The Dark Knight which I vow to see in IMAX over this summer! I've always prefered Batman over any other super hero (though people argue he isn't a super hero since he has no powers but in my eyes that makes him all the better!). I have a tendancy towards the darker things in life at times so the bright colors of Superman of Spiderman never appealed to me. Anyway, I love the animated series that ran in the early 90's and I have it all on DVD. Love love love it!

Anyway, yes, in the past month or so I've had a ramped up interest in Batman and I bought myself some Batman graphic novels for the first time. It was about the time of that purchase that the first dreams showed up. There have been probably been about 4 or 5 dreams in which I am Batman in the past month. I'll spare you the details for I barely remember them but for a few images and such. However, it all came full circle last night. Clearly I have had enough of being Batman in my dreams. Last night I switched sides. Last night I was the Joker. And I had a beard. A green beard. Which makes sense I guess since the Joker has green hair and all. That was pretty much the extent of what I remember. I'm a strange one. Like Bob Dole. Except sexier.

Ok, I'm really sorry to cut it short tonight but my fingers don't want to work right anymore. But you can hopefully look forward to a nice little story tomorrow night that I meant to tell tonight but didn't get around to. A story of the genesis of my musical tastes. And its all inspired by About A Boy. Which makes perfect sense if you've read the book. Think. Its title is a play on a song title . . . Ponder that for a bit and I'll fill you in on all the details tomorrow night.

Goodnight all! Maybe tonight I'll dream that I'm Two Face . . .

Patrick (Like Bob Dole. Except sexier)

Sunday, April 27th
South Park The Movie Jokes Are Soooo 1999

Good night.

Yes, my bulletin is coming record breakingly early tonight, I know but I'm sorry. I think I might be coming down with a slight illness or something cause I do not feel good I can tell you that much. And it really makes me sad cause I've been wanting to tell you all this story for a couple days now and I keep putting it off. I'm slacking off at my bulletin job! Ya know, maybe this could be a teaser of sorts and if I can't finish the story I'll do a special, mid-afternoon bulletin to complete it!! Brilliant. Ok. All is well again.

So, how many of you got the little trivia question right last night? Once again, here it is in Jeopardy form: The title for the novel About A Boy is a play on a songtitle by this band. Who is Nirvana? Thats right! The song is of course, About A Girl off their first cd, Bleach. I used to know that story behind that song too but not anymore. I do however know that at the time Kurt wrote it, he was listening to The Beatles constantly and it was his attempt at writing a pop song in their vein. I'm a little obsessed as you could maybe have guessed. Kurt always had a love for a certain brand and only that brand (forgot which one) of Mac & Cheese and had a pet rat named Kitty. Just like me! And no, I didn't name the rat Kitty in honor of Kurt. In fact, my cousin named it before I even knew who Kurt Cobain or Nirvana were . . .

Lets rewind a bit in life. Growing up, like most children, the only music I was exposed to was what my parents listened to. In my case, country from my mom and classical from my step-dad. And don't you dare cringe at that! I have an undying love of classical music, in particular Beethoven's 6th Symphony which I consider the greatest piece of music ever written. And country? Ok, yeah, there's lots wrong in the genre but really, there's a lot wrong in any genre dominated by manufatured pop music. Johnny Cash anyone? He's country. And badass. So take that. Also, while not as badass as Johnny Cash (cause no one is), I can still sing along to every song on the Judd's greatest hits cds . . .

So now you have a general idea of where I came from musically. When I was in 8th grade I came down with mono. And no, I didn't get it from kissing anyone. I ended up missing the whole first semester. During that time, when I wasn't passed out or playing Final Fantasy VII (its during this time that my obsession with all things Final Fantasy started) I would channel surf. I ended up watching a fair amount of MTV for the first time ever. Sure, my older cousin would watch it sometime but her taste in music was somewhat suspect. I remember her once saying that she hated The Smashing Pumpkins (which is a cardinal sin in the land of Patrick). I quickly became in love with music. Not very good music mind you but it was a start. The first 2 cds I bought were Aerosmith's Nine Lives and Metallica's Reloaded. But soon my life would change . . .

Its so cliched but its so true. Smells Like Teen Spirit changed my entire life. The first time I saw that video it absolutely blew my mind. Even 6 years after its release it sounded beyond fresh to me. I didn't know music could be so passionate. So full of energy. So catchy! It was love at first listen. When those drums kick in right at the beginning and it explodes in your face I knew that nothing would ever be the same after that. As soon as I could I got Nevermind and played in constantly for weeks on end. I had started playing drums a year or so before but not too seriously but after hearing Nirvana I kind of wanted to switch to guitar. I wanted to make sounds like Kurt did. I wanted the loudness to be at my fingertips. A couple months later I got my step-dad's guitar out of the closest and started messing around. Got some lessons. Etc.

So really, if I had never heard Smells Like Teen Spirit, there is a very real chance you would not be reading this right now. I probably wouldn't have ever started a band. I wouldn't know 90% of the people I know. Everything about me would entirely different. Sure, I suppose that something else could have done it and things would have ended up the same but who really knows. Its funny, cause growing up the 90's it was impossible to have not heard the name Nirvana or seen Kurt Cobain's face everywhere but they didn't mean anything to me. I had no idea who he was or anything. And when I got into Nirvana, I never made the connection that he was the lead singer and that he had killed himself (or Courtney killed him or drove him to it or blah blah blah!!!). One day though, it dawned on me that the Kurt Cobain that was in the Nirvana I loved was the same guy that had died and it hurt. It hurt a lot for some reason. I cried.

Now how does this all relate to About A Boy? Well, if you've seen the movie, you have no idea at all! The entire book is almost centered around Nirvana. The little kid in the story, Marcus, is ignorant about music except what his mom listens to. The guy in the story, Will, is very in the know when it comes to music. I won't give you a synopsis of the book but Will introduces Marcus to Nirvana and change starts to spread through Marcus's life. And come on! How can you not love a book where Kurt Cobain's death is actually a significant and pivotal point in the plot? Its funny though, at the end of the story, Marcus's love for music has spread out a bit and it states he's now into The Smashing Pumpkins! Its even more like me! The Pumpkins came not to long after Nirvana and it took them a good couple years but they eventually overtook my top spot for favorite band. But, after listening to Nevermind and In Utero a few days ago (ironically before I read About A Boy . . . ) I can't help but feel that same excitement about Nirvana that I once did. They were a truly remarkable band . . .

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go pass out cause I'm exhausted!


Monday, April 28th
A Tale of Two Flats, Chapter 1 (of 2)


As has become a tradition of sorts I shall start this off with the thing I'm sure none of you read these for: a description of my sleeping patterns! Ok, so things have truly become strange as of late. For those of you that read yesterday's, that was posted before 4am which is a new record for me. (and if you didn't read yesterday's, it was really good and you should go search it out!) I slept till about 10am. It was rather strange to be waking up at an hour that I have been accustomed to falling asleep at. Though, naturally, this event had all sorts of reprecussions since I haven't woken up that early in I can't remember when. Probably not since tour? Oh wait, no, thats wrong. The dentist. Anyway! So I fell asleep before midnight and woke up at 5:30 this morning. Yeah, I just woke up. Now seriously, what's up with that!?

Alright, there ya go, we got it out of the way. Let's move on to other more important things. I think its time I told you a story that's more in line with what you're hoping to hear. Stories about the band, not about Lost or Batman dreams or About A Boy. So I've been going over all the stories in my head trying to pick out the best ones . . . and saving them for later! Cause clearly I don't want to tell all the good ones right away. I've gotta keep a sense of anticipation. That way when you're disappointed by my story telling abilities you might perhaps fool yourself into thinking that tomorrow might be better (it won't be!).

Tonight, I have decided to focus on the one thing that I'm sure unites just about every band that has ever traveled the long highways of this country in a van and probably unites many people not in bands but that have cars or know people that drive cars (which should cover just about everyone I think . . .) Have you guessed yet? Flat tires!!

Naturally we have had a few over the years and it wouldn't be all that interesting to tell you about all of them. However, there are 2 stories that stand out above the rest. Story number 1: The Tale of the 2 Flats in 2 Hours. Our story begins on lovely summer day in Amarillo TX in July of 2006. We had played a lovely show the night before with Quietdrive (sadly, it was just a one time show . . . ) and we rang in the new day with steak at the Big Texan Steakhouse. We Pensive boys love our steak. Heck, ever Jason the vegetarian tried steak there (though, he wasn't there this time around and he's no longer a vegetarian [finally!]) We had a bit of drive ahead of us so we hoped in the van afterwards sufficiently satisfied. It wasn't too long before disaster struck. The rear left tire on the van shreded. Not just a flat, no no. That tire was destroyed. (click here to see!) Crazy, huh? Well, we usually in the past had changed our own tires cause hey, we're manly men and all but, well, this time we decided to let AAA do it cause we weren't to keen on hanging out near traffic and all. Even manly men tend to get hurt when hit by cars. So all was fixed up and good to go. We drove not even an hour (on a crappy spare I will admit) when that one gave out too! (click here to see!) Yet again, we had to wait and wait and AAA finally showed up and started to fix it up. However, to make this even more fun for us, it started to rain!!! And more could we want? How about lightning too!? However, I'm not one to let an opprotunity like that pass and I snapped one of my most epic photos ever (click here to see!) And I will go ahead and say before you even ask, no, there is not one bit of computer manipulation in that picture ; )

Ya know what though . . . I think I'm gonna have to make this a 2 parter again cause I've got another story to tell you about that day and trust me, you really, really want to hear it! And then I'll also tell the other memorable tire story in that bulletin as well so be on the look out . . .


Tuesday, April 29th
A Tale Of Two Flats, Chapter 2 (Of 2)

Good morning!

And it really is morning this time around. Those of you following closely you might like to know that I fell asleep at 11 last night and just now woke up. I'm like a normal person! Its kind of freaky. I miss the night time to be honest. The sun sucks. Oh but thankfully the heat wave we were suffering under broke over night! It was dreadful and the worst part about it was how dry it was. It absolutely killed my eyes! But its over now so all is well.

Anyway, when we last left off, we had just had our 2nd flat tire of the day when the spare tire blew out too. I told you that I would tell you the rest of that day's story tomorrow (today) but I just realized, I completely miscalcuated! The events I was thinking of took place the next night at least. However, when I have I ever let a little thing like reality or the truth get in the way of a good story!? There, I shall tell it to you anyway before recounting our latest run in with those crazy things we call tires and wheels . . .

Chapter 2 opens with our heroes once again in their home away from home, traveling down the New Mexican highway. The sun had long since left the world. In the van we had, of course, Julio and myself, along with super bassist / web geek, Sean, fashion fascist / merch girl, Lauren, and fill in drummer / body builder, Joe. We pulled over to the side of the empty road for two reasons that night. Number 1: I really, really, really had to go Number 1. Number 2: The van had just at that very moment traveled its 100,000th mile! With a milestone like that you've gotta stop and enjoy it and maybe take a picture or two.

Never one to let a perfect opprotunity pass him by, Joe grabbed the giant bag of fireworks left behind by Jason when he disappeared and started setting up a little fireworks display to commemorate the occasion. Fireworks have never really been my thing, though I did take a series of pictures of Julio and Jason going wild with them on the 2nd day of that tour (click here and then hit "forward" above the picture till you run out of fireworks pictures) This time though, I decided to ignore the fireworks display at just enjoy the fresh cool night air. I hung out in the road for a while (which would get me into a lot of trouble a year or so later). Took another long exposure shot (click here again) However, clearly this is not a story about photographs. Nay. Things were about to get very interesting . . .

After spending a good 15 minutes or so lighting off fireworks and just hanging out, we figured it was about time to get back to driving. Joe wanted to do one last grand finale first though. So he stuffed as many bottle rockets into this base for something he'd already lit off and lit them all at once. It had to have been around 15 to 20 bottle rockets. Behind us, just as Joe sets the flame to fuses, what do I see except a cop car pulling up behind us. For those of you that might not know, fireworks ain't exactly legal in many states out west. Fire danger and all. We thought that they were legal in New Mexico. We were wrong as we would soon find out. The most beautiful part of this story though is how just as the cop pulls up they all start shooting everywhere. Up into the sky and all around. One rogue rocket fired off straight at our new friend and missed his windsheild by mere inches.

Our new friend waited in his car till the last of the rockets had gone off and then approached us asking if we knew fire works were illegal in the 4 corners and asking to see all of our ids. Ok, I think I might have misspoke earlier for the most beautiful moment of night probably must have been this: Mr. Cop asked Joe (who he had decided was the ring leader of our little gang of firestarting hooligangs) whether we had anymore fireworks. Joe said no. Mr. Cop nods and starts searching the van. First thing he does, he opens the front passenger door and a giant bag of fireworks comes tumbling out. Joe looks at them and says "well except for those . . . " It was perfect. Nothing much else happened. Senor Policia just told us not to light anymore off and let us drive away. Later that night, we were driving down highway 666 (I kid you not) so in honor of that occasion, Sean played Doom 3 on my laptop. The end.

Last but certainly not least. I can't remember where this happened actually but I want to say somewhere in Tenessee. On the way to Knoxville perhaps? It was raining. Really, really hard. We had to stop at a motel for the night. Billy and I wanted to get inside so we got the key for the room from Julio and everyone else drove off to park. However, Billy noticed something a little odd about the trailer. Heedless of the pouring rain, Billy and I ran after the van trying to see if what he thought he saw he really did see. We round the corner and there, clear as day I can see it too. Now, you see, our trailer has two wheels on each side. Except this time. This time it had two wheels on the left and one wheel on the right. Thats right, the entire wheel was gone. Not just the tire but the entire wheel! Gone!! And we had no idea when or how or anything. Oddly enough, two of the lug nuts we're still attached to where our wheel should have been . . . Oh the insanity, oh the mystery!

So there you have it. Two completely unrelated stories. I hope you enjoyed them. I shall return tomorrow with plenty more ranting and raving about silly things that no one cares about! : )


Wednesday, April 30th
Viva Las Vegas

Good morning.

I have a favor to ask of you. You see, I really would like a mint chocolate chip milkshake from Cold Stone. Could you go get me one? Ok, so thats not exactly the most healthy way to start a day but, well, fine, let's see if I ever attend to your strange whims!

I've been thinking for a while what I could possibly write about today and so far I am stumped. For whatever reason, probably cause I literally just woke up, nothing is coming to mind. I mean, there is still the grandest story of all but you're not ready for that. I'm gonna save that as a going away present the day before tour cause as you could probably guess, I most likely won't be able to keep this up on the road. Speaking of the road, tour dates are posted and you should all go check and see if we're playing near you. Cause we might be. Or we might not be. Who knows. Don't worry, more dates shall be arriving shortly.

Do you remember a couple bulletins back when I talked about recording Something About The Stars? Well, maybe I should give you a little peak into the creation of Artifacts. Would you like that? As you may or may not be able to guess, when recording an album, there is an awful lot of just sitting around. Especially for guitarists and bassists. Just in case you didn't know, of course there are many ways to record each individual instrument but the way we have always done it is to layer them on top of each other and record each one on its own. So, while drums are being recorded, occasionally I'd play a scratch ryhthm track that would just get deleted but mostly it was a little of sitting. Especially since a lot of recording is going through a fixing little problems. Drums and vocals often take up the most amount of time (though our little Chrisy banged out them drums pretty dang quick!)

So, naturally, I must find a way to keep myself sane while all this is going on ya know. So I read. Sadly the studio we recorded at (in Las Vegas) did not have a tv so no PlayStation this time for me. I think its worth going back to that location statement again. Yes, we recorded in Las Vegas. It was dreadful. I don't know if you know this about me but I am not a fan of heat. Nor the sun really. And what does Las Vegas have? Lots of sun and lots of heat. It was in the high 90's on a cool day. Thankfully we spent most of our time inside of course but still. It was rough. So anyway, if you remember, during Something About The Stars, I was playing Xenosaga and Civilization II, and reading The View From The Mirror series by Ian Irvine. For Artifacts, even though I had no access to play at the studio, I was playing Final Fantasy XII at the time and I read Battle Royale by Koushun Takami during the first week and I honestly can't remember what else I read.

If perhaps you have seen that movie I insist! that you read the book. In fact, I suggest a lot of you check that book out. Its a bit gory but if you like action and suspense you could do a lot worse . . .

Maybe tomorrow I'll return with a little peak behind the scenes of the song writing for Artifacts and some specifics from the studio. I'll leave you with this little tidbit though: There were two songs we brough to the studio that we were questionable about recording. Both got up through guitars but only one was finished even though everyone thought it was filler. Care to venture a guess as to what that "filler" song that still got recorded was? Live Fast. So obviously, its hard to judge a song till its completely done sometimes . . .


Thursday, May 1st
Live Fast or Die Hardest With A Vengence

Hey there y'all!

I think that perhaps my posting time has caused my readership to drop slightly. Maybe? Oh well. I must suffer through it for my new schedule seems to be pretty locked in. It would take another 24+ day to get me back to sleeping during the day and I'm just plain too lazy to go to that much trouble. You shouldn't worry much though of course since if you miss any you can always catch up at the end of the week when they show up on the Pensive blog . . .

I left you last time with a little teaser about how Live Fast almost didn't even make the cut. Would you maybe like to hear a bit more about that? Good cause you're gonna hear it anyway so you might as well enjoy it! We used to have a song. Some of you may remember it. Most of you have probably never heard it. It was called Reaching For The Sky and for a good year or so, we opened pretty much every show with it. As you might be able to guess by its honored position of show opener, we all were rather fond of it. It was upbeat and run and we all thought for sure it would be on the next record (the record that ended up being Artifacts). Good Ol' Mr. Salazar did not share our opinion.

Its sad to say but out of the 5 or so completed songs we showed him, only one made it onto the record intact (Forsaken). The others were either pushed to the side (August in New York, All This Time, November Dawn) or in the case of Reaching For The Sky, they were completely overhauled. The first thing to go was the verse. 2nd, we completely rearranged the chorus melody and the underlying chords. At first, the melody still sounded similiar to RFTS but as time went on, it morphed into the chorus you all know today. However, my little guitar thing after the chorus stayed! Ironically though, originally there was a different part there that we grabbed from a different song I had been working on but it started on the on beat whereas the rest of the song comes in on the off beat . . . So, we stuck the part back in and it sounded perfect!

In the final stage of constructing the basics of the song before Chris arrived to write the drums, Julio and I were playing through the songs we had. During Live Fast (which at the time, without lyrics, was known as "The Pop Punk Song") I just started messing around in the verses, playing them with the staccato rhythm the have now. I wasn't actually intending to have it that way instead of the palm mutting we had in place but Julio and Will both liked it so stuck around! Once Chris arrived a few days later, and we started putting all the music together it started to sound pretty solid. However, we in Pensive really like to make lists and charts, and on every single one, Live Fast was within the bottom 3-4 of songs.

As time wore on though, and we had scraped the songs that just weren't coming together, Live Fast barely, just barely made the cut. If I remember correctly, it was Julio that saved it from annihilation. However, since I was so sure it wasn't gonna make the cut, I hadn't bothered to write lyrics for it. In fact, Live Fast and Lost Inside Your Heart were both low on lyrics days before we drove up to Las Vegas to record. So what did I do? I went to the happiest place on Earth, Barnes & Noble! I walked around the store listening to Beethoven's 6th Symphony looking at book titles and going over Live Fast in my head. The chorus was kind of already formed with tentative lyrics that I then sharpened but the verses had very little. I believe that I had written the first half of the first verse sitting by Will's pool but that the rest just never came.

I spent a good 4-5 hours at B&N that day and another 2-3 hours the next day and came back with pretty much the lyrics you know today for both Live Fast and Lost Inside Your Heart. I wish I could remember the books I looked at the directly affected the songs but sadly I can't. Just know that if I had tried to write those songs at home or anywhere else, they would not have anywhere near the same lyrics they do now.

Throughout recording, it was still near the bottom of most of our lists though I believe Julio really started to like it. I guess he knows hits better than Will or I since we both thought Summer Is Gone would be the first "single." Anyway, Live Fast (which I wanted to call "Live Fast, Die Faster" or "Live Fast or Die Hard" [or even more jokingly "Live Fast or Die Hardest With A Vengence"]) was officially safe and on the record. The Metal Song however did not survive. That was one of the other songs at the bottom of the lists. The elusive 11th Artifacts song that no one has ever heard. Perhaps I'll tell you more about it another time.

So there ya go. A nice long history of Live Fast. I'll close this by saying that you should all thank Mr. Director Drew Renaud for picking Live Fast. I was still leaning towards Summer Is Gone (and muahahaha I've finally gotten my way since we're making the video for it over summer!!!) but we gave Drew the cd and told him to tell us which he thought should be the video. He picked Live Fast and eventually we all agreed.

Check back tomorrow for more behind the scenes of the birth of Artifacts.


Friday, May 2nd

Good morning world.

Guess who got a mint milkshake from Cold Stone yesterday!? Thats right, it was me. Though, I had to actually go get it myself but oh well, I survived the driving process. What I didn't survive however was sleep. Don't ask me why but I just absolutely collapsed last night. And I dreamt that I was insane. Thankfully, we're all insane a little bit . . .

Before moving on to the clear topic of this bulletin, I want to take a minute to tell a quick story I saw on the news. Apparently, this man wanted Grand Theft Auto IV so badly that he pepper sprayed a GameStop employee (its a good thing I don't work there anymore! not that it was my store that got robbed but still . . . hahaha!) and run off with GTA and a couple other games. First off, this man is stupid for how could you not get caught in a robbery like that. Second of all, he just had to go and prove the politician's point that video games transform law bidding citizens into crazed murderous lunatics (clearly, I don't agree with said statement. I may be a crazed lunatic but I'm as docile as a new born lamb =P) And of course this had to take place in San Diego. I don't want this to turn into a big long rant about our violent culture and where movies and video games are to blame so I'll cut myself off for now. Screw GTA, save your money for MGS4 ; )

Alright, its time for the Lost rant.

Spoilers abound so if you haven't seen last night's episode, for God's sake, avert thine eyes!


Last warning . . .

Alright, so a lot happened last night, but nothing too big was revealed. Things were hinted at though. This week's flash forward centered around Jack and Kate living together, getting engaged, and falling apart. Of course, since Kate is taking care of Aaron for reasons still yet unknown, its quite appropriate that Jack helps take care of his nephew. As this week's show should have clearly reminded everyone in case you either forgot or somehow missed it, Jack and Claire have the same father but don't know it. I wonder if they'll ever figure it out. Maybe. Claire walked off into the jungle with her dad (crazy Dr. Shepard always appearing on the island. Maybe he knew about it when he was alive?) Maybe he'll let her know about Jack? That could explain why Jack didn't want to see Aaron when they were first off the island since he's not overly fond of his father. Or maybe Jack just wanted to run from what was a responsibility. Or maybe he didn't know and the reason he didn't want to see Aaron had to do with the way that Kate got him in the first place which they've been very careful not to hint at.

However, they do state that Sawyer decided to stay on the island. For whatever reason, it sounds like people are going to decide to stay. Maybe for distrust of the boat pepole or cause they know they have nothing to go back to. Though, that would not be the case for Jin. Sun goes home and has his child and he stays on the island (I'm pretty damn sure he's still alive since when Sun visits his "grave," the date of death on the headstone is the date of the crash). Anyway, Sawyer asks Kate a favor which we don't know what it is, and her doing that favor causes Jack and her to split up (or so it would seem, especially since as last season's finale made clear, there's a long period of time off the island where Kate and Jack don't talk and if I remember correctly, Kate gets married (?).) What could that favor have been? She talked to someone on the phone about it and we can probably safely assume it wasn't Sawyer since we know he's still on the island so she met somebody. But why?? And I think they've been off the island for a while since her trial is over and it seems like she and Jack have been living together for a fair amount of time so why then? Until we learn what the favor was, it seems just its only purpose was to drive a wedge between Jack and Kate.

Back to Claire and walking off into the jungle. In this episode, we are reminded that Miles can hear the dead. He knows about Danielle and Karl dying and finds their bodies. I'm gonna hope and assume that they had a reason for this, mainly to remind us of his power. But what's going to come of that power? Can he hear Claire and Jack's dad maybe? That could make sense. I hope there's a reason for his ability storyline wise otherwise its just a cool but in the meaningless trait for his character. Oh, and why did he have to hide from the soldiers? I thought the smoke monster killed them, and yet only one seemed critically injured. Whats up with that!?

Lastly, why did Jack get sick on the island? As was pointed out, people don't get sick on the island, they get better (with the notable exceptioin of pregnant women). So why?

In the end, the episode raised more questions than it answered and it seemed more like a set-up episode for the weeks to come. However, I must admit that unlike it seems the vast majority of people, I enjoy the questions more than the answers. An answer is the end but questions can go on and on and on . . .

So, tomorrow, I think I'm gonna tell a few more behind the scenes stories about the writing of Artifacts and such but, if any of you have anything specific that you want to know, send it to me and I'll answer it in the next bulletin (if you want your question answered, please make it as concise and as understandable as possible please =D).

See ya in 24 hours!


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The Collected Late Night Ramblings: Week 2

Saturday, April 19th
The Cake Is A Lie!!!


How are you?

I'm sleepy.

I know. Its weird. Me? Patrick? Tired at 5:46!? Strange but true. I could barely keep my eyes open and had to throw in the towel on Half Life 2 earlier than I would have liked.

Today is a special day. Ya know why? Not only is this the official start of the 2nd week of my daily bulletins but its a very special person's birthday! Care to venture a guess? No, its not me. My birthday is in September [and I expect brownies!]. Eh, I'll just tell you cause you're never gonna guess . . .

Today is Jared Marshall's birthday!! Who is Jared you ask? Oh he's just one of the 3 founding members of Pensive, including myself and Julio. In fact, while the concept of the band floated around for a while between us three, it wasn't until Jared got a bass for his birthday that we truly started. So in a way, its also Pensive's birthday today!! Today, Pensive turns 8 years old. Can you believe we've been around that long!?! We have naturally gone through many, many changes over the years. You'd hardly recognize us as the same band most likely. Back in the day, the songs could never be fast enough for me. They could never be punk enough. Oh youth.

So how did I met Jared? Same way I met Julio. On the El Capitan High School tennis team. Embarressing, no? One day, Jared forgot his backpack at the tennis courts. I said to leave it. Julio said we should take it and try to give it back to whoever it belonged too. My interests were peaked when I saw that he had written KoRn on it. We got it back to Jared somehow and started talking about music. Plans for a band hatched. We bonded at a Slipknot concert where the power went out and we only got to see about three songs from them (and I left without being able to hear in one ear for days). So after bonding over nu metal, we started a pop punk band. Yeah, don't ask me how. The first two songs we wrote were As You See and Naturally Pyschotic. Yeah. Oh my we were silly little boys.

Last night you learned how we got our name, and now today you've learned how became a band. Damn. I'm gonna run out of stories if I'm not carefull . . .

And oi! Just in case you're new or you think maybe you missed a bulletin or two, I'm gonna be collecting them at the end of every week and posting that week's on the Official Pensive Blog so go ahead a check that out and see not only the daily bulletins but also all my other horribly verbose ramblings . . .


Sunday, April 20th
Portal Jokes Are Sooo 2007

Greetings my friends.

I have weird dreams. Really really weird dreams sometimes. The details of the dreams I had last night are understandably hazy now but they were surprisingly vivid as they were going on. For some reason, I was in a car for the vast majority of my time in dreamland last night. I drove to Egypt. Yeah. Egypt. Random, I know. And then I drove to Oregon. Equally random. Well, maybe not as random really since I could actually drive to Oregon if the urge overtook me seeing as its our neighbor to the north. In fact! The drive to Oregon is quite nice . . . and way epic!

Just about 2 years ago, Pensive had ourselves a nice little Northwest tour. Despite our best efforts, we weren't able to get any shows on the way up North booked and our first show was in Tacoma. In order to get there the quickest, we decided to make the drive in two days. The first day, we drove the entire length of California. Ok, now for those of you that live where states are all close by and such, I don't think you quite understand the undertaking this was! Well, for Julio that is since he's the driving man but still . . .

San Diego to Yreka (where we stopped for the night) is 760 miles, estimated at eleven and a half hours by Google maps (speaking of which, go over to Google Maps and type San Diego to Yreka into the directions so you'll have a visual guide to the story!). Thats pretty rough on its own but thats not all. That eleven and a half hours is assuming that you can drive the whole way at 65 miles an hour (which is sometimes not the best in a van with a big ol' trailer!!!!) and anyone who has ever driven around California should know that is impossible. There's this little thing known as L.A. traffic. Its Hell with a capital H.

We left San Diego at around 7 or 7:30 in the morning if my memory serves me correctly (and those of you how kind of pay attention to my ways, you should realize seeing as how its nearly 6 in the morning right now, getting up early isn't my thing . . . ) We got San Diego traffic going up the 5 around Del Mar and all of course. So let's say we got into L.A. around 10 or so. That would be bypassing the worst of the morning traffic of course but its still incredibly bad [though, there is one very memorable instance of far worse traffic . . . which I will try to remember to share another time!]

Not only did we get L.A. traffic but we also go Sacramento rush hour as well. While no where near as bad, it was still pretty rough. We got into the Sacramento area around 6 in the evening I believe.

As you can see from the map if you've been playing along at home, there's still a long way to go and we've already been on the road for just about that estimated eleven and a half hours!!!

So I shall pause there for the night and I will conclude this grand adventure tomorrow. You shall hear about freak weather, ramen noodles, and how Jason and I kept ourselves entertained those long, long hours . . .

See ya tomorrow!


Monday, April 21st
I Got Sidetracked . . . Oh Me And My Tangets . . .

Welcome back!

Are you just dying to know the rest of the story? Cause I sure am! Gosh, I'm jittery with excitment!! Are you ready? Cause I so am!

When we last left our heroes, they were traveling north on the Interstate 5 freeway and they had just passed through Sacramento . . .

What I didn't yet mention is how Jason and I kept ourselves occupied and entertained on this long long stretch of road and I think it needs to be mentioned first so that when you find out what caused us to break away from our entertainment, you'll realize how extreme the situation was!!

So, how many of you out there watch TV from time to time? I don't, not really. Unless you count TV on DVD!!! And ok, I do totally tape Lost every week and I'm sure I'll do the same with Heroes when it comes back on but thats beside the point. Lucky for us Pensive boys, we've got ourselves a little TV and DVD player in the van, and let me tell you, that thing is a life saver! What better way to pass the time than say, watching a season or two of your favorite shows!! On this very memorable occasion, it was a show that I had to experience. In fact, at this point, I hadn't started watching Lost yet even, but ya know, I could save that for the next bulletin, make this a little 3 parter . . . Hmmm . . . Anyway, sorry! I go off on tangents a lot . . .

Enough is enough! We watched 24!!! The 2nd Season. The whole 2nd Season. Almost. We had to pick up the last episode or two the next day but whatevs, its close enough. And let me tell you, that is one captivating show. Oh my yes. One might even say its camping. (Camping? you ask . . . Well I don't know if you've ever been camping before but camping is so in tents . . . ) It was an incredible way to pass the day. And for a while, it even came close to lining up with the actual time of day and we got a nice little kick out of that.

Ok, hold up. I'm gonna switch things around here. Give me a second to work this out. Yes. Yes. No. Ok.

I've got it!

I'm gonna talk about Lost real quick now and save the "exciting incident" for the next bulletin . . . I know, I know, you're devestated, I know, but wait, trust me, this is gonna be kind of cool . . .

So I don't know how many of you out there have seen Lost and the 2nd season of 24 but there are some odd similarities. First off, main character named Jack. Ok, thats not too weird. Next, Daniel Dae Kim stars in Lost and has a recurring role in a couple episodes in 24, but thats not too weird cause he totally used to show up on lots of shows before Lost took off. The weirdest similarity . . .

Both feature a character named Sayid! I mean, come on, thats no that most common of names and yet, in both shows, they've got someone named that! (forgive me if I'm actually mistaken cause for all I know, Sayid could be a very common name in the rest of the world, but up until 24 I'd never heard it which made it very strange to me that it showed up in the next series I started! =P hahaha)

So there ya go. My Lost/24 rant. P.S. Lost is a much better show. I love Lost. So much. And heck yes I'm excited that its coming back on Thursday!!! Oh I can't wait to find out who it was that shot the French chick and her daughter's boyfriend . . . The way she reacted, it seemed like she though it was someone coming to get Ben but how and when did someone else get on the island cause I don't get the impression that the scientist or the anthropologist are exactly eagle eye snipers . . . Don't be surprised if a Lost rant shows up Thursday night/Friday morning . . .

Ok, thats it for today. I promise promise promise that tomorrow you will hear about the event that very nearly led to end of Pensive as we know it . . .

but obviously didn't! ; )

I'll see ya back here in 24 hours . . .


Tuesday, April 22nd
Francis Farmer Will Have Her Revenge

Good morning!

I swear, you will finally get to hear about the exciting incident that I have been alluding to for the past 2 days. Really, I swear! But first, I think a bit of congratulations is in order for me . . . Why? Cause I just finished Half Life 2. Not that it was too terribly difficult or anything but I want to be congratulated anyway! No? You just want to hear the story and get on with your day? Oh . . . Ok . . . Fine. You don't have to be so mean about it . . . Gosh . . .

Have I mentioned that the story takes place in March? Cause if I didn't, well, it does. And thats pretty important to know I suppose. So yes. March of 2006. When we last left off, Jason and I were watching 24 and Julio was driving. Night fell. Darkness spread across the sky. Stars came out. It was lovely. If you've never driven in northern California you might not know how beautiful it can be. All of the Northwest really.

First, we started to get a little bit of rain. Light rain. No big deal. We drive in rain all the time! Then we started to climb in elevation and the rain started to get a little bit slushier (if thats a word . . . ). The elevation continued to climb and climb and climb. Soon, it can no longer be called rain. Its snow. Now, for the vast majority of you out there, you're probably thinking "whats the big deal about snow!?" You see, in San Diego, we don't get snow. We barely even get rain much to chagrin.

However, it seems mother nature was not satisfied to just throw snow at us. Nope. It turned into a full out storm. Thick blankets of snow falling from the sky and getting swirled around in front of our headlights. Soon we couldn't even see 5 feet in front of us let alone the road! Bear in mind too of course that we're driving in the mountains. On one side of the road, you have a rock wall you could run into. On the other, a nice long drop. So yeah, it was way camping if you catch my drift. Also, remember we're driving a nice big van with trailer attatched to it. So we're not really sure what to do. Thankfully, we come across a semi going nice and slow and seeming to stay on the road so we just kind of follow where he goes. It was really kind of scary for a while but we totally made it.

There was a lot of snow on that tour. In fact, well, I have one last story to tell. Should I tell ya now and make it quick? Alright! Here ya go! A couple days later we were making the drive from Seattle to Spokane Washington. We stop by the side of the road to look out at this gorgeous view up in the mountains. Theres a huge lake frozen over and covered in snow and there's a nice little hill leading down to it from the road. Well, Kevin took in upon himself to steal the lid off the merch case and sled down the hill on it. He broke it. He had a hard time getting back up the hill. A cop stopped by and told us very politely to get the hell off the side of the road. It was pretty nifty. Ah, I miss the Northwest. Not only is lovely up there but Seattle has such awesome food! Amazing amazing amazing clam chowder [sorry Chris, someday I'll visit and have authentic New England clam chowda] and we even found this incredible sushi bar. It was fantastic and get this, each roll was only $1!!!! Can you believe that!?!?! I wish I had a $1 sushi bar down the street cause I would pretty much live there . . .

That about wraps up this installment. I hope you enjoyed it.

I doubt it was the grand adventure I led you to believe it was gonna turn out to be but perhaps still fun? See ya next time!


Wednesday, April 23rd
Snow And Ice

Good morning everyone!

Guess what. I don't seem to have anything to say this morning. Ok the bulletin is over. Go back to bed now everyone.

Ok, ok, I lied. You don't have to go back to bed or anything. I mean, if you want to just go ahead and read what I've written maybe like 15 times or so that could be about the same length as a normal one of my bulletins, yeah? No? You don't want to do that!? Psh, you suck . . .

Well, right now, I seem to be stuck in a frame of mind thinking about snow. You see, we've had a few other memorable encounters with snow over the years. As I'm pretty sure I have mentioned before, we don't exactly get much snow in ol' sunny San Diego. In fact, except for one time when I was around 5 or so, I don't think ever really saw snow till 2006. In fact, our first true encounter with the harsher side of mother nature was a couple months before the last story I just told ya.

Let's set the stage again, shall we?

It was January of 2006. We were doing a short little weekend trip over to Arizona. Phoenix was uneventful in that it was Phoenix. As in, no matter what time of year it is, its hot there! In fact, the summer before, July of 2005, in what was supposed to Sean's last show as our bassist but naturally was not, it was a scorching hot 126 . . . Anyway, let's fast forward back to January. As we started to drive up north to Flagstaff the weather certainly started to get a bit more brisk. Flagstaff was basically frozen solid. There was no snow falling from the sky but the ground was covered with it. And it got oh so much colder as night fell and by the time we had to load up the trailer at the end of the show it was below zero . . . It was rough carrying equipment in the cold and trying to miss the frozen parts of the ground which, well, if you're not careful can lead to a very bad case of falling down and breaking guitars . . . which thankfully didn't happen!

And ok, one more story. These stories suck. I suck. Whatever.


So this one was earlier this year. February. 17th? Eh, something like that. We were in Murfreesboro TN. It wasn't too cold at first but there was a bit of rain falling and such. No big deal really. However, apparently while we were stage there was a drastic drop in the temperature. Now, as you could maybe picture with the rain and all, the van was covered in water. Ya know, from the rain. Specifically on the locks on the trailer. And what do we all know happens to water when it starts to get really cold? Thats right, it freezes! So here ya go, picture this: We're getting off stage, all tired and hot and sweaty and such and take our equipment outside and are slapped in the face by the cold. What would be a good thing to do to combat the cold? Yep, thats right, get a jacket! Guess where the big warm jackets are kept? Ype, thats right, the trailer's side door. I think you can guess the conclusion . . . The locks were iced shut so that we couldn't even get the key in it. So we had to stand there shivering with a couple of lighters hoping to melt the ice enough to unlock it and get something more suitable to wear! Good times.

Ok, enough talk of cold weather for the day I think. Sorry my bulletin is late today.

Hopefully you can forgive me? Enjoy!


P.S. Hmm, "Snow And Ice" . . . that sounds familiar . . . I wonder where I could have heard that used before . . . Hehehe ; )

Thursday, April 24th
Hamlet, Macbeth, Romeo & Juliet, and Other Tragedies

Greetings my friends,

So first, I think I should go ahead and let you know that I am officially crazy. Wanna know why? Ok, here we go . . . Well, for the longest time, my sleep schedule generally landed where I would fall asleep around 5 or 6 in the morning and wake up around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. A very odd schedule but its a mixture of my natural inclination towards insomnia and the necessity to stay up late on tour and such. I mean, ya know, where we don't get done at the venue till like 1 in the morning, eat, get somewhere and then sleep. Ok, so naturally, since my bulletins keep showing up later and later you might realize that I'm falling asleep later and later. Well, I hit a new record yesterday. Well not all time record but for recent times. I woke up at 2 in the afternoon on Tuesday. I then went to bed at 6 in the evening on Wednesday. Then I woke up at 2 this morning. My "normal" sleep schedule has officially been turned around entirely. How messed up is that? I wonder whats gonna come from my insanity . . .

Before I forget to mention, Lost is on tonight!!!!!

Ok, well, since for the last few days, my stories of cold weather and snow and all that have mainly centered in the year of 2006, I think the time has come to tell you about the most tramatic and tragic event in the entire history of the band.

I mean, its a relatively short story but I think it will very well break your heart cause, wlel, it most certainly broke mine!

Yet again, let's set the stage: The year is 2006. The month is April. The phone rang. We answered. Ok, it wasn't really a "we" I think it was probably a Julio that answered but thats beside the point. On the other end, Will Salazer, epic producer of epic Pensive albums and frontman of the reunited (at the time) Fenix TX. He had a proposal for us. Fenix TX had a Europe tour in the works and Penisve was invited. So he did what any sane person or band would do, he said "s*** f***in' h*** yeah!!!"

So there we were, sitting there with 2 week European tour sitting in our lap, Mar 13th to the 27th. It would be the first time Pensive toured outside the country. And what better place to break us in to the joys of international touring than the good ol' United Kingdom! But, as you could have guessed from the preface, something was bound to happen to prevent us from making the trip . . . and it happened in the most ironic of ways . . .

Julio enjoys ice skating. I mentioned to Julio that maybe he shouldn't cause how dreadful would it be for him to fall on the ice and break his arm or something. He took my advice and played tennis that day instead. And what did he do? He tripped and broke his wrist. Yes. Julio broke his wrist. We went over as many options as we possibly could. But when it came down to it, we were too close to the departure date for us to secure another guitarist or any other ideas and then as much as it absolutely killed us, the tour fell apart. Thats right. We came within a week of getting on that plane and it all fell apart.

So there ya go. Thats a nice little tragedy to start off your day.

Now go ahead and make sure your day is better than that! And oh guess who got their glasses fixed today!? Yep, it was so me! I can totally see now and I must say, its wonderful : )


P.S. Lost is on tonight! Lost is on tonight! Lost is on tonight!!!

Friday, April 25th

Good morning everyone!

As you should have come to know by now, my sleep patterns are completely topsy turvy at the moment. I don't ever really need to go into that do I? Today's bulletin might be a might on the short side cause really, there's only one thing on my mind . . .


Ok, ok, I'm taking my obsession a bit too far. No, I'm not nearly as obsessed as I sound but ok thats a lie. I am. This week though, oh, this week.

This was a grand episode! I'll just ahead and warn you that I shall be discussing last night's episode in depth so if you haven't seen it and don't want it ruined, for God's sake don't read that gigantic paragraph!!!

Are you ready? Have you seen the episode? Are you sure? There's no turning back now.

So what's it gonna be, the red pill or the blue pill?

There were several startling revelations in this episode and one very tragic instance that I could have sworn they would never do. As you know, before the month long break, the last show ended with Rousseau and Karl were shot and Alex surrendered saying that she was Ben's daughter. Unfortunately for her, they use her as bait to lure Ben out but Ben thinks that they're bluffing, that they'd never kill his daughter. They weren't bluffing. Ben, shocked out of his mind, says that the rules are changed now and disappears behind a bookshelf. What's he doing back there? He's calling on the black smoke monster to do his bidding!!! Now, naturally, this has all sorts of implications but naturally its never fully explained, seeing as we still don't exactly what it is. Juliet once implied that she knew about it but that the fence around the compound was to keep it out. But! If Ben can control it, why the fence? Is it all a ruse so that no one knows he can control it or is there perhaps some to truth to their apparent fear and desire to keep it away? I'm not sure myself. It certainly casts many things in new lights though. Hopefully we'll learn more about it. The episode ends with Ben, Locke, and Hurley heading off into the jungle to find Jacob. Though, thats only what took place on the island. The flash forwards in this episode detail how Sayid came to be employed by Ben as an assassin once off the island. Nothing too ground breaking there until the scene where Ben sneaks his way into Charles Widmore's penthouse. They have seem to know each other quite well and it most certainly appears that they have met before. Both seem to feel that the island belongs to them. I'm still curious how Widmore knows about it! And whether Desmond ending up there was a coincidence. Anyway!! Ben says that Widmore crossed a line, broke the rules, when Alex was killed and now he's gonna kill Penny so that they're on the same level again. What rules?!?! Thats the part that is really curious to me. Did they one day, sit down as old buddies and decide to play a game? Is the mention of "rules" to be taken literally or is it just a general expression of going too far. To me, it always seemed to carry a hint in the tone of voice that there are actual rules to what can be done. Very interesting indeed. And naturally, if Ben is truly gonna kill Penny, that will have intense reprocussions for Desmond! Oh I cannot wait to see how this all plays out but I've gotta admit, I kind hope they don't kill Penny off . . .

Alright, there ya go. Feel free to any number of Lost discussions with me. Maybe we can get a little Lost support group going on here.

Well, I'm done now. I ain't got much else to say.

Not counting the story I have planned for tomorrow!!! ; )


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The Collected Late Night Ramblings: Week 1

Friday, April 11th
March To The Sea

Hello all! Patrick here. Yes, it is 4:56 in the morning here. I don't sleep. Its true. I have problems : ) Anyway, thats all beside the point. I would like to take this opprotunity to say hello to everyone. I've been thinking, ya know, I stay up late all the time why not try to send out a bulletin every morning before I go to bed or something. Why? I really have no idea. Just for fun.

In case you never have before, you should totally check out the official Pensive blog cause you can find all sorts of lovely littel things over there. I know I suck at keeping it updated but I'll try, I promise . . . And as a last little bit of trivia for ya! Some of you may recognize the line "march to the sea" from our song 06/08: Lost Inside Your Heart. However, I'm sure very few of you know that I stole that line from the title of a song by the band Pelican. Ok, stole is the wrong word. It was in my mind and it fit the rest of the song perfectly so how could I not use it??? So in honor of the fact that I'm listening that song right now, you should go listen to 06/08: Lost Inside Your Heart!

Have a lovely day everyone! Nighty night <3

Friday, April 11th
More Special Trivia Facts

I just thought you might also enjoy a bit more behind the scenes type stuff. Some of you may remember that back on April 1st we offered the song "Without You Here" as a download for that one day. While I will admit that one reason for that was to increase plays and such, there were 2 other much more important reasons: Firstly, a lot of people have been asking for that song. Secondly, and far more importantly, I wrote that song for my mother because its often hard for me to express to her how much she means to me and I thought if anyone ever deserved to have a song written about her, it is my mother. And to make it even more perfect, April 1st is her birthday : ) So there ya go, the true, behind the scenes reasons for it and why it was so perfect! But shhh!! Don't let my mom know ; )


Saturday April 12th
Random Thoughts For The Night

Hello all. Patrick here again with a quick little good morning for you all as I head off to sleep. I've noticed I have very odd taste in many things. I especially tend to greatly enjoy many things that people hate so much. For example! I am the only person I know that even remotely enjoyed Zwan. Everyone I ever mention them to has given me looks of disgust. Call me a Billy Corgan lover (the man can *almost!!!* do no wrong in my eyes musically [disregarding his solo album that we pretend doesn't exist (which was still incredible live!)]) or whatever but I truly loved Zwan. I really did. In fact I'm listening to Mary Star of the Sea right now. It has a bit of Siamese Dream feel to me. It sounds so happy and hopeful; such a stark opposite of the later Pumpkins work. But I can't help but just love it. In the world of books, even amongst fans of Chuck Palahniuk's, Diary seems to be signled out very often as being so horrible. I'll admit that it was the book I spent the longest time with because it didn't pull me in like some of his other books do but I found it to be so consuming once it had me in its grasp. Perhaps it had to do with the subject matter, talking about art and the artist's mind and whether art is something for the artist or for the public, but I was incredibly wrapped up in it. The idea of pain being a natural part of the creative process. But I digress greatly. Digress from what? I have no idea. I ramble a lot. I should go to sleep. To wrap it up, I'm easy to please. I love Billy Corgan and Chuck Palahniuk even at their low points. I also love Hironobu Sakaguchi but I so don't love his low point! [Lost Odyssey. I hate you.]


P.S. There's probably txpos in there. I'm not gonna proof read it. Its 4:48 in the morning. Deal with it.

Hehehe =P

Sunday, April 13th
I Almost Forgot!!

Oh me, oh my! Here I am, lying in bed, nearly asleep when it struck me like a thunderbolt thrown from the hand of Zeus himself! I didn't post my nightly bulletin. Its horrible that I almost forgot like that. Silly me. Hopefully you can forgive due to the fact that this tradition is still relatively new, this being the 3rd time I've done it. I found myself thinking about it earlier today and I was wondering what kinds of things might interest you? What would you like to see contained in these few short lines every night? Stories about the band? Behind the scenes kinds of stuff? My random rants on the various things that interest me? What? Please, please, tell me. My life isn't nearly exciting enough for me to constantly have something to report so you may have to put up with the occassionaly post that greatly resembles this one. Without a point.

But you can always choose to not read these right?

Here's something for you to ponder. How many of you out there wonder about the Pensive songs you've never heard? You can't possibly believe every song we've ever written as ended up on a cd can you? Perhaps sometime I'll tell you about some of the old school songs that only a handful of people have ever heard. Songs like As You See, 140, and Me & My TV. Ponder on that. I'm gonna take a nap.

Good morning!

Monday, April 14th
A Hope For A Better Tomorrow

Greetings world.

Yet again, what a shocker, I forgot my promise to myself to post a bulletin every night till the very last minute before sleep over took me. Silly silly me. However, fear not my dears. The sun is still hidden behind the hills so my vampiric ways are not yet in danger. And naturally by "vampiric ways" I'm merely refering to the fact that I'm not exactly fond of the sun or the intense heat it can bring. I am clearly not trying to imply that I sleep in a coffin, have an aversion to garlic, or drink blood. No, I sleep in a bed, I love garlic with a passion, and I drink chocolate soy milk.

Anyway, ever though I am currently failing to enact any of my plans, people did respond to the last post about what they might like to hear about. Soon my dears, soon. Patience is a virtue. Or so I hear. In order to perhaps string you along for a bit longer, here's some other Pensive song you have never, nor will ever hear!! American Standard. Constructive Chaos. Mourning Glory. Forever Trying.

Goodnight world!

Tuesday, April 15th
Setting The Stage of The Night

Good morning everybody!

I think the time has come for a quick little story time. First I must say that this time I did not actually forget about my bulletin. I did not spring from bed and grab my laptop. Ok, wait, thats a lie since I was in bed, but I am fully awake in the midst of yet another of my recent all night reading binges. Its true. This is what I do with my nights quite often. I remember the first time I ever stayed up all night reading happened to be around the time we were recording Something About The Stars. Its odd the things I recall about that time in my life. My strongest memories seem to revolve around the things I was doing at that time as opposed to the actual recording.

But first!

Yes, you see, this was back when I was on a more normal schedule. I still had horrible trouble falling asleep, but I would consider falling asleep at 2am extremely late. As you can see, I have progressed far past that now. Once I reached that fabled 2am point I decided to just forget about trying to sleep and read for a bit to pass the time. I was reading "Dark Is The Moon," the 3rd book of the View From the Mirror quartet by Ian Irvine. Now is not the time to discuss my grand love for Mr. Irvine and his 2 fantasy quartets and my incredible desire to own the concluding trilogy which at this point is only available in the UK and Australia [the final book is set to be published in December, that will have to be when I spring my trap . . . ]

I read almost the entire first quartet while we were writing and recording SATS. I barely remember playing guitar on that record (probably because Julio did all the rhythm guitars and I didn't have much in the ways of leads back in the day) but I intensely remember playing with the melted wax from the candles, sitting on the couch reading my book, or in the corner playing first Xenosaga Ep.1 and then after I finished that playing Civilization 2. What do you think the thing I remember the most is? Anyone that knows me really well probably already knows . . .


You're gonna have to wait till tomorrow to find out wha the most legendary story of recording is . . . its hot! Just you wait and see ; )


P.S. The last half of the Alchemy Index comes out today! Oh I could not be more excited . . .

Wednesday, April 16th
The Epic Conclusion

When we last left off I was recountin my memories of time recording Something About The Stars. This all took place in April and May of 2003. We had tons of songs going into the writing process but very few made the cut, cause, well, they weren't that good. Looking back I can certainly see that now though of course at the time, those songs were my babies and woo unto any who spook against my grand artistic vision. Naturally, I hope you pick up the sarcasm intended in that sentiment. Yes, at the time I was in love with myself and my "art" but, well, looking back its easy to see that there was tons of room for improvement. Let's not be too harsh of 18 year old me though, ok? I was doing the best I could! Anyway!!

As you could perhaps have deducted, my first real experience recording was incredibly stressful (I can barely count recording Kids These Days cause that was so laid back and such. A cake walk. What the hell does that even mean? A cake walk? The cake is a lie, don't forget.) A lot of my misguided anger was directed at our producer Will Salazar. Why? Cause it was his job to tear our songs apart and make them better. Thats what a producer is for. For a kid barely out of high school though, its a tough process to take.

So how did I relieve my stress? Well, on one very memorable occasion, I had found a Carvin guitars catalouge in the studio and it had a picture of Will in it (because he gave up a PRS sponsorship for Carvin . . . WTF!?!?). Well, I'm sad to say, I have a slightly pyromaniac streak in me so I promptly ripped the page out and set it aflame. I only wanted to singe it then put it out quickly but the paper was far more flamable than I could have guessed!

Panic ripped through me. What did I do to attempt to solve the problem? The worst thing I could possibly have done, I dropped the flaming piece of paper in trash can . . . Yes. Just take a minute and picture that. Then picture Julio seeing the trash can burst into flames and him grabbing it and running outside. Yeah. Thats the dramatic conclusion. Moral of the story, don't play with fire kids.

There ya go. The most epic band story I can think of at this point in time. Maybe I'll think of another sometime. Enjoy! As for me, I'll be lying in bed enjoying the delicious sounds of the new Thrice cds. Oh, and tomorrow is going to be beyond incredible. Not only am I seeing Thrice for the first time in two and a half years [the last time was the week before Vhessiu came out so I couldn't even sing along] but I shall finally, finally, FINALLY be seeing Pelican. I have been dying to see them since I got The Fire In Our Throats Will Beckon The Thaw for my 21st birthday. Oddly enough, I also got Circa Survive's Juturna for that same birthday and they're playing too! How odd . . .

Goodnight y'all!

Thursday, April 17th
More Than Flashing Lights And Sounds

Bnojour mon amours!

No I don't speak French. Chris does. I don't. I don't even know if that would be correctly pluralization of "amour" or if that is in fact how thats spelled since I'm quite rusty on my bad French. Way beside the point of anything. But yes, lets just get this out in the open. I don't speak French. I do speak English. Therefore, I shall write this bulletin from here on out solely in English. Maybe.

I hope you all enjoyed the epic story I told in the last installment. If you missed it, well, sucks to be you. Go searching for it. I don't have any silly little stories to tell tonight though I'm sorry to say. I'll just go ahead and give you nice little report on my night. The most epic night in a very long time. If you don't count the countless shows that I play with Pensive, I haven't seen a concert in ages. The last one was the Pumpkins in November and I can't remember the last one before that. 30 Seconds To Mars the November before maybe? Being on tour a lot makes it hard to see shows when they come to town.

Tonight. Oh tonight. Tonight was Thrice. I love Thrice. With every ounce of my heart. They have never once let me down, never even close. I simply cannot sing their praises enough. Simply majestic in a live setting. And they played a perfectly crafted mix of old and new songs [thankfully gearing towards the new]. And Pelican. Oh Pelican. Glorious is all I can say. If this tour is coming to your town please please please don't miss it. Please.

Wanna know a secret? I have a vinyl fetish. Huh? What did you ask? NO! Ugh, sicko! I mean that I am an implusive collector of vinyl records! I have many in my little collection including all of AFI and the vast majority of Saves The Day, Thursday, Thrice, and The Smashing Pumpkins. Does anyone know if the Pumpkins released Zeitgeist on vinyl? And someday the Alchemy Index is gonna hit vinyl and I'm gonna snatch that up like it ain't no one's business!! Anyway, the point of this is that I picked up a lovely little clear blue vinyl edition of Pelican's City of Echoes! I'm so stoked!! They had tons of records with them actually but ya know, funds are limited sometimes sadly . . .

There ya go. I hope you enjoyed a slight peak into my life. Now go to bed you silly gooses, its late!!!


P.S. I'll pwn your soul at Team Fortress 2. Pft. n00b.

Friday April 18th
The Origin Story For The Name Pensive

Greetings my fellow insomniacs and you early morning risers!

Ya know, for the first time in a while, I don't seem to have much on my mind at the moment. Its odd. Err, well, nothing interesting at least. The only thing on my mind is that I'm mad at myself for not firguring out how to disable that first energy field in the Highway 17 level of Half Life 2 cause now I gotta walk a long way on foot. Sucks for me. And I think I want a brownie. Thats about all. Its funny, for some reason, people are under the impression that I'm this deep and thoughtful young man, such as my Junior year art history teacher who asked me one day when I was staring off into space if I was pensive. I said no. Just sleepy. I didn't know what pensive meant (I know! Isn't that horrible!!) So I looked it up a few periods later in English, realized it was the most badass name ever and then proceeded to suggest to Julio and Jared that we should call our band Pensive. They said no. I fought. They fought. I won. Obviously.

We had many names in the running at that time. We were originally called dep/LTP. Don't even ask. The name that almost beat out Pensive was Outside 217, which, if you're a huge Stephen King freak like me, you might recognize as a chapter in his third novel, The Shining, one of my personal favorites. But, I mean, come on, with a name like that, can you imagine all the blink 182 comparions we would've gotten!? Maybe enough time has passed and that name can be ressurected. Maybe.

Anyway, hooray for Pensive!

I didn't even intend to tell you that story tonight but it just seemed rather perfect. I hope you enjoyed it. If my calculations are correct, I've been doing this for about a week now. Have you missed any??? Tell your friends to check every morning. There should be one up no later than 7am Pacific Time. I hope you enjoy them.

Let's see if we can make it 2 weeks!


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March Insanity!

Did you like that little play on words there for the title, huh? Get it, cause ya know, there's like that basketball thingy going on thats like March Madness and then I changed it to so insanity, cause, well, let's face it, We're All Insane . . .

Now that we've taken care of that silly little introductory paragraph, what say we move on to heart of the matter? Sadly, it is still a bit too early to speak of things too directly but I can at least give you a hint or two:

As you may know, drummer god Dave went into hiding earlier this year and despite my greatest efforts, drummer god Chris would only do that last tour with us. Good news! In May, you just might be able to witness the coming out party of a new drummer god. And oops! Did I just spill the beans on the other surprise? Oh no! Thats right my friends, keep your eyes opened cause before you know it, tour dates will be to materialize before your, umm, eyes. I didn't want to say eyes twice, but, well, it was set up for it and damnit, it rhymed!

Oh, and yeah: those of you that have followed the band closely may know that Billy the Bassist (yes, that is actually his birth name) has as well moved onto the next path in his life. Maybe soon he'll reach the clearing at the end of the path? ;) No but seriuosly, William John has left the world of music to pursue his love of mortgages. You know, that thing that your parents worry so much about?

However, fear not my fellow mourners! Its true that this is quite a fell blow to the band, especially our sex appeal factor, but! well, don't worry about our sex appeal cause I've been bringing sexy back for years before that damn Justin guy wrote a song about me. But no, seriously, we have found a replacement who destroyes even me in technical abilities and who has an undying love for AFI so what more could we really need!?

And lastly! Not that you'll be hearing them anytime soon, but I have begun work on what could potentially be the next batch of Pensive songs. No no, nothing concrete, nothing even closed to finished, but ideas and riffs and progressions are floating around my head so we'll see what happens with all that. What's it sound like? Well, take Artifacts and imagine if Limp Bizkit were to cover it and then take away the rapping and add some Swedish death metal type screams and then take away the guitars and add in some cheesy 80s movie's soundtrack of keyboards and you could have a good idea of what the next record might sound like ;)

Alright, now that I think I have finally exhausted all thats going on in the band, I can finally, finally (!!!) move onto more important matters . . . Metal Gear Solid 4 is coming out in June!!!!!!!! Until FFXIII gets an actual release date, there ain't nothing that can compare to my excitement for this event. In celebration, I just played MGS3: Snake Eater as a refresher course and I had forgotten how mind blowingly incredible it was! Seriously. I have pushed Lost Odyssey to the side, cause, well, I f***ing hate Cooke and Mack! Those two goddamn little kids ruined what was shaping up to be an ok game. Sigh. I came into posession of a coupon for Blockbuster entitling me to one free XBOX360 game when I rented another so I picked up Devil May Cry 4 and The Orange Box (Half Life 2 + Ep. 1&2, Portal, and Team Fortress 2) and oh dear god, Portal is the most insanely awesomely insane game ever!! It is mind bending in ways you would never believe. Best puzzle game ever. Without a doubt.

Alright, I think yall are probably bored by now so I guess I can save my latest reading adventures for another time. I'll just say this: READ EVERYTHING CHUCK PALAHNIUK EVER WRITES! Peace out yo.

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